Tag: depression

  • Sadly depressed

    Sadly depressed

    Depression sets in when we look for signs of hope in those things that are important to us, but find none.

    It doesn’t mean that there is no hope for anything in our life. It just means that what we choose as a defining relationship or experience to reflect our significance provides us with no reason to believe that we are significant in that way.

    This is why from the outside looking in, we may think that people who are depressed are actually happy, or carefree.

    Sometimes when we see everything else that they’ve got going in their life compared to others, we consider them to be ungrateful.

    But that’s because we’re looking at them through our eyes, and not through their own.

    The absence of hope occurs when we insist on receiving from others that which they’re either unwilling or incapable of providing. Their unwillingness often being more about their insecurity than what we’re worth to them.

    If you find yourself struggling to reconnect with hope in the most important domains of your life, I can help.

    WhatsApp me on +27836599183 or contact me via my website at zaidismail.com. Affordable coaching to clients internationally.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Be you…unapologetically

    Be you…unapologetically

    The opinions that others have of us affects us most when we are not convinced about who we are.

    It’s self-doubt that creates the space for others to influence how we feel about ourselves.

    Be it a troubled relationship with a family member, a partner, an ex spouse, or even a friend or colleague, the moment their words about us weighs more than what we think of ourselves, we need to recognise that we needed validation more than we needed companionship or a healthy relationship with them.

    Our disappointment in them when they behave badly should not extend to disappointment in ourselves.

    The moment we judge ourselves harshly after they’ve treated us badly, we’re diminishing our self-worth by believing that we’re not even good enough for someone who has questionable values.

    That’s how we lose ourselves to the lack of self-respect in others, or in ourselves.

    If you find yourself questioning your self-worth or struggling to connect with who you are in the face of the struggles of your life, reach out via WhatsApp on +27836599183 or via my website at zaidismail.com for affordable coaching rates that could be the fresh start that you need in life.

    Serving clients internationally.



  • Break the stigma

    Break the stigma

    We dehumanise the human when we label their emotional experience as an illness.

    The moment we attach a label to a life experience, we focus on the label and discard the merits of the experience.

    We make people invisible when we deny the reality of their experience by suggesting that there is something clinically wrong with them, despite causality of their emotional upheaval being clearly associated with their experiences in life.

    The victim readily embraces such labels because it offers hope where they feel hopeless.

    The oblivious happily embrace such labels because it demands less emotional investment, or less accountability in their efforts to uplift or support those around them.

    Our aversion to embrace the entirety of the human behind the troubled behaviour denies the victim a voice, or a claim to their painful experiences in life.

    These labels are worn with shame because it denies us our humanness and makes us a symptom.

    You cannot break the stigma of mental health by undermining the humanness of the ones affected by the stigma.

    Kill the label, kill the stigma.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Always hope

    Always hope

    When we focus on the struggles of our lives, we feel defeated.

    When we focus on the growth, we feel empowered to overcome future obstacles.

    But we’re human. We doubt ourselves and sometimes we feel entitled to peace.

    In the process, we create self-fulfilling prophecies by growing despondent when things go wrong, rather than looking for the opportunities to create something better.

    We limit our ability to overcome obstacles by telling ourselves that there is a limit to what we’re capable of dealing with.

    Rather than embracing the challenges without preempting the outcomes, we end up focusing on how close we are to that limit that we set for ourselves and then grow defensive the moment we believe things are getting too close to it.

    That’s how we prevent ourselves from trying beyond a certain point, and that’s how we grow to believe that some things are impossible to overcome.

    Sometimes, when things seem like they’re falling apart, they may just be falling into place. But when we fixate on what’s falling apart, we deny ourselves the opportunity to see how it may be contributing towards our dreams and goals that were being hindered by what we had in the first place.

    Breathe, beloved. And let faith, not fear, guide you through the storm.

  • The ultimate rebellion

    The ultimate rebellion

    Living romantically, despite the horrors of life, is the ultimate protest

    It’s the obstinate rebellion against those who wish to rage, because they have no peace to give

    It is the cry of the lover for his beloved

    The anguished heart searching for peace

    The lonely soul searching for home

    To see beauty when surrounded by pain

    Or to be gentle when born of torture

    To love despite being surrounded by hate

    And to claim dignity when shame is the only language spoken

    That is the ultimate protest

    Because we must strive for what we wish to create

    Rather than rage against what we wish to destroy.

    The world is full of rage

    Perhaps it needs some romance again.

    Join me, beloved

    Join the conquest of this madman.

  • Reconnect with your innate wisdom

    Reconnect with your innate wisdom

    We all have an innate wisdom that we lose sight of as the distractions of life accumulate.

    When we go out in search of answers and adopt methods that worked for someone else, we further distance ourselves from that innate wisdom.

    This distancing that occurs undermines our authenticity, and leaves us feeling at odds with life rather than comforting us.

    To reconnect with that peace that feels so elusive, we must reconnect with that innate wisdom, or else life will continue to feel like a detached experience.

    It is only in sincere conversation that truths are encountered and wisdom adopted.

    For this reason, I am not hers to teach you anything new. My sole purpose is to reconnect you with the wisdom that you already have within you.

    Reach out at zaidismail.com or WhatsApp on +27836599183.

    If you prefer, email me at info@zaidismail.com

  • Depression is not an illness

    Depression is not an illness

    I realise that this is a highly contentious point. But we must recognise the elephant in the room before we are able to deal with it.

    The myth that depression is an illness causes more harm than the good it’s intended to achieve.

    Depression is the absence of hope. Preceding that is the saturation of failed expectations from those we consider significant in our lives.

    Like happiness, depression is not a choice. But, also like happiness, depression is an outcome of the collective choices that we make.

    The more aware we are of those choices, and importantly the consequences of those choices, the more consciously we are able to make decisions to break the cycles that result from those choices.

    The moment we label a human experience as an illness or a disorder, we create victims rather than masters of our emotional experience, thereby disempowering us in our efforts to rise above the unpleasant experiences of our lives.

    Depression is not an illness. It is a legitimate human experience in response to bad experiences in life.

    When we begin to recognise this, it becomes possible to reconnect with our humanity, rather than to surrender to an imagined illness.

  • Silent Protest

    Silent Protest

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    A protest that cannot be articulated, is a protest spawned by futility, to feed futility.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    My contempt for what I am presented with is rarely expressed plainly. My reservations to express at all is grounded in years of ridicule and dismissal around issues I have held with great conviction. Experience is a bitter pill, whether swallowed or not. Each cycle of decay results in a shortening of the fuse that prompts us into action. I believe that our response at break point is chosen long before we reach that point. It’s not something that happens instinctively. Instead, it has been internalised for so long that when we do reach that tipping point, no contemplation or deliberation is needed. The response is not intended to be measured. It is intended to finally release the silent protest that we chose not to express outwardly for reasons that suddenly fade from significance.

    Silent protests are born when our pleas for sanity or reason go unanswered in a setting that we feel compelled to embrace. It’s a cry for recognition of who we are and what we need that has fallen on inattentive ears, or calloused hearts, leaving us bound to the commitments we once made, while resisting the urge to respond in kind lest we be reduced to the same stature of that which we have grown to despise. But the contempt is not easily expressed. The contempt is reined in to ensure that the commitment remains the priority. After all, in the absence of the commitment, no such claim of aloofness would be credible.

    So the silent protest plays out, often for years, and assumes a sub-conscious frame of reference that we rarely realise exists. The weightiness sets in, the lethargy overwhelms, the fatigue smothers, and the passion withers. Life ceases to be life at this point. Instead, it steps aside to allow existence to take over. Existence, then, becomes the final protest. It protests the onset of death, denies the potential of life, and secretly yearns for both.

    Breathe. Exhale. Remind yourself why the silent protest started, if indeed you are able to remember, and decide if it is still worth the commitment you are trying to honour. If you can’t remember, then remind yourself about where your passion once flared, and use that as a point to return to in order to retrace your steps to the point where you lost your voice.