Tag: coachforlife

  • Master patience

    Master patience

    Remembering to hold on to hope, and to abandon my expectations of others has always been my saving grace for my sanity and my dignity.

    Expectations, whether legitimate or not, are rooted in a sense of entitlement to receive what we need from others.

    Expectations are key to a healthy relationship, because when we can trust another to fulfil our expectations from them, it nurtures the bond that exists between us. Provided, of course, that such trust is mutual.

    However, if we’re not aware of our level of expectation and why we want it to be fulfilled by that specific other, we’ll become distracted by the feelings of betrayal should they fall short of our expectations.

    Worse still, when we’re unaware of the level of expectations that we have from those who are not in our circle of significant others, every acquaintance and every stranger is given power over our emotional state.

    Their failure to live up to our expectations feels like betrayal because entitlement is that unwritten social contract that convinces us that we deserve something from another, even if they may not be aware of it.

    If the relationship is important, switch to hope and continue to contribute as best as you can. Hope is grounded in the belief that they are capable of being better than who they are in that moment, but understanding that whatever is troubling or distracting them is what they need to first rise above before they can show up the way that we want them to.

    Expectations, and entitlement, is reflective of our needs, which when fulfilled, convinces us that we’re significant. Hence the anger or bitterness, or depression that sets in when our expectations are frequently taken for granted, making patience difficult to muster.

    Hope is the nourishment of patience, while expectation is the enemy of patience. So when you find yourself being impatient, check your expectations and consider embracing hope instead.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock



  • Support Indie Authors

    Support Indie Authors

    Thank you Gallo Images for creating opportunities for indie authors and content creators like myself to get exposure.

    As any indie author will tell you, writing the book is the easy part.

    Publishing it is the next part, which is a bit easier than writing it. That’s if you do everything yourself like I do.

    But the most difficult part is getting people to know that your book exists, and to convince them to want to buy it.

    No matter how amazing your writing skills may be, or how enthraling your story, if people don’t know it exists, it will be a brilliant piece of work that is forever undiscovered.

    So efforts like these go a long way towards giving indie authors a fighting chance in the industry against the traditional publishing houses. Or perhaps even to get the attention of those publishers.

    Support an indie author by sharing their content with credits, and by leaving reviews of their work.

    Your small gesture can make a world of difference.

    Thank you.

    Photo credit : Gallo Images

  • Sadly depressed

    Sadly depressed

    Depression sets in when we look for signs of hope in those things that are important to us, but find none.

    It doesn’t mean that there is no hope for anything in our life. It just means that what we choose as a defining relationship or experience to reflect our significance provides us with no reason to believe that we are significant in that way.

    This is why from the outside looking in, we may think that people who are depressed are actually happy, or carefree.

    Sometimes when we see everything else that they’ve got going in their life compared to others, we consider them to be ungrateful.

    But that’s because we’re looking at them through our eyes, and not through their own.

    The absence of hope occurs when we insist on receiving from others that which they’re either unwilling or incapable of providing. Their unwillingness often being more about their insecurity than what we’re worth to them.

    If you find yourself struggling to reconnect with hope in the most important domains of your life, I can help.

    WhatsApp me on +27836599183 or contact me via my website at zaidismail.com. Affordable coaching to clients internationally.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Judging is easy

    Judging is easy

    Judging each other only becomes easy when we assume that we are above the behaviour that were judging.

    When we receive the benefit of the doubt from others, we assume that we deserve it, rather than it being a result of their generosity of spirit.

    When we’re misunderstood, we may be inclined towards accusing others of misunderstanding us, rather than considering that they had good reason to get it wrong.

    Being defensive or judgemental are two traits that originate from the same source. That is, feeling emotionally vulnerable.

    Judgement demands compliance with a standard that is larger than who we are, and therefore associates us with something that must be respected or revered.

    That’s why it’s easier to judge than it is to understand. Because understanding demands that we set aside such associations and invest of ourselves in assessing the behaviour of others.

    Sometimes, that investment means that we must suspend our focus on our rights in that relationship in order to understand. When we’re afraid of being insignificant, suspending such rights feels like an attack on our self worth.

    The result…anger or bitterness.

    If you need help navigating through such complex relationships in your life, I can help.

    WhatsApp me on +27836599183 or reach out via my website at zaidismail.com.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock