Judging each other only becomes easy when we assume that we are above the behaviour that were judging.
When we receive the benefit of the doubt from others, we assume that we deserve it, rather than it being a result of their generosity of spirit.
When we’re misunderstood, we may be inclined towards accusing others of misunderstanding us, rather than considering that they had good reason to get it wrong.
Being defensive or judgemental are two traits that originate from the same source. That is, feeling emotionally vulnerable.
Judgement demands compliance with a standard that is larger than who we are, and therefore associates us with something that must be respected or revered.
That’s why it’s easier to judge than it is to understand. Because understanding demands that we set aside such associations and invest of ourselves in assessing the behaviour of others.
Sometimes, that investment means that we must suspend our focus on our rights in that relationship in order to understand. When we’re afraid of being insignificant, suspending such rights feels like an attack on our self worth.
The result…anger or bitterness.
If you need help navigating through such complex relationships in your life, I can help.
WhatsApp me on +27836599183 or reach out via my website at zaidismail.com.
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Judging is easy
