Category: Life

  • Have a little faith

    Have a little faith

    Believing is not the same as faith. At least not in the way that I experience it.

    When I believe in something, it’s because I’ve attached evidence from previous experiences that convince me that what I believe to be true is probably true.

    While there is an element of faith to that, its not really faith. It’s more a belief based on deduction.

    Faith comes in when the evidence may conflict with the belief, but because everything we know to be true about it makes it impossible to believe anything else, it’s then that we develop the faith in believing that somehow, some way, the outcome is still possible.

    This is especially true when everything tells you that it’s impossible.

    Of course faith of a divine nature is different. But the above approach to faith is what determines how much we invest in others, or in what we believe is possible with them.

    Photo trivia : This is a table cloth that was woven by female prisoners in India. An endearing design with dark undertones.

  • A sacred trust

    A sacred trust

    Mark Twain once said something about there being two days that are important in your life. The day you’re born, and the day you find out why. I think there’s a third day that matters as much as the other two. The day you realise that your why only matters to you, and no one else.

    There’s a sacred trust that is unspoken but governs the hearts of everyone. That trust is created in moments when we honour our why in servitude of others. Everyone has this inclination. To serve as best as they can, to honour that trust that no one speaks of.

    A rare few, or perhaps more than that, invest that servitude in those who are true to their why. In return, the trust is fulfilled, but still unspoken. The only evidence of its fulfilment is the fulfilment they feel when their sincere servitude is honoured in kind.

    But what of those who invested it in ones who dishonour their why? Worse still, what if your why is to give hope to those who have given up hope in themselves?

    The ones in need of hope grab at the hints of its arrival without any concern for its origin. It is not the being attached to the outstretched hand that matters. Only what that hand contains.

    In that moment of giving, when something is gained by the hopeless, something is lost by the hopeful. Until eventually, the scale tips beyond its balance, and the hopeful become the hopeless. That’s when that sacred trust is broken, often beyond repair.

    Without trust, all that’s left is faith. Faith denies us the right to give up. Caught between the absence of trust, fading hope, and a fragile faith, the struggle of being human is born. And in that desecrated space, angels and demons are formed.

    If there is enough hope left in the cup, it fuels the endeavour to remain true to our why. But if the cup of hope is empty, faith settles in quietly, hope exits gracefully, and trust is abandoned, finally. Leaving the one caught in that conflict feeling conflicted, painfully aware of the emptiness that the tainted sanctity of that trust left, while knowing that faith always demands more.

    Perhaps faith is not our saving grace from the trials of life. Perhaps faith itself is the trial.

  • Don’t wait for justice

    Don’t wait for justice

    This world was created for respite, not for justice. Stop waiting for it to be OK before you move on with your life. It will never truly be OK.

    And when you eventually do move on, it’s because you stopped waiting for it to be OK, not because it suddenly was OK.

    Life is most often wasted waiting for retribution or reciprocation after we’ve been treated poorly or betrayed.

    When we wait for such justice to come to pass, it means that we’re more invested in our past than we are in our future.

    The irony is that we convince ourselves that we can’t have a future until we get justice for our past.

    The truth is, the future only becomes available to us when we have reconciled our contribution towards the outcomes of our lives.

    We’ll never be able to get into the heads of those who oppressed us or treated us badly.

    Waiting for them to step up and do the right thing is simply perpetuating the very reason why that relationship may have failed in the first place.

    The moment you reclaim your voice in your life, you reclaim your future, and you discard the shackles of the past.

    This doesn’t mean that by reclaiming your voice the issues from the past that continue to plague you will disappear.

    No. What it means is that your response to it will be defined by how much power you want it to have in your future, so that you’ll be able to choose your battles and your conditions for peace more wisely.

    Breathe, beloved…don’t forget to breathe. And between each breath, consider if your last breath was invested in your future, or your past…and choose more wisely the purpose of your next breath.

  • Lost moments

    Lost moments

    The pendulum of time brushes ever so lightly against the arc of eternity, and in that very finite moment of its contact, an entire lifetime is lived. Some are deluded into believing that the pendulum will swing back, realising too late that once the moment is passed, it is lost to eternity.

    For some reason, this thought always chokes me up… :'(

    Why do people take life for granted and wait for ideal moments before allowing themselves to embrace life more fully and sincerely?

    Moments pass so quickly.

    The current trends are to catch moments through meditation, long after the moment is lost.

    Or to reminisce about why it could have been different if only something else was in place at the time.

    The most gut wrenching heartache is caused from moments that held the promise of beauty or peace, but were lost to bad timing, or fear.

    I think the secret to living joyfully lies in trusting those who echo the sentiments in your heart.

    But such a trust is daunting when it was abused by another, and thus courage becomes a prerequisite for trust.

    Discovering the secret of courage then becomes the next pursuit of the heart.

    Breathe, beloved…slow deep breaths. And courage will emerge from the depths where it lays dormant after having been subdued by calloused hands.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • It’s not always about you

    It’s not always about you

    The truth is, if you want to matter that much to someone else, shouldn’t they matter equally as much to you?

    If they do, and you find that they don’t have as much time for you as they used to, or are behaving differently to what you know them to be about, do you claim your privilege to be treated better than that, or do you show sincere concern for what they may be dealing with?

    Busting mental health myths is essential to break the cycle that feeds toxic victim mindsets.

    The problem with this meme is that is encourages self-centered perspectives and denies the struggles that someone else may be going through.

    Sometimes the ones we love may be so overwhelmed by what they’re going through that withdrawal from the world is the only way that they believe they can cope.

    It’s not about how much you may want them to lean on you, or take comfort from you. Sometimes, their battle with themselves drives them to want to protect others from the impact that it is having on them.

    Don’t be so quick to write people off. When you do that, you lose the right to ask others to give you the benefit of the doubt when you’re going through a struggle that no one else understands.

    Sacrificing what you need in favour of understanding someone you love, is sometimes the greatest gift of love you could give anyone. Even if they don’t realise it at the time.

    It’s about what you want to gift to them, not what you need from them that matters.


  • To be heard

    To be heard

    When moderation is surrendered in protest against control or oppression, vulgarity seems like the only reasonable way to be heard.

    Rather than focus on the need to be heard, we should consider why our voice may have been lost to the noise around us.

    Adding to that noise further erodes rational thought and expression, creating a polarised environment rather than an inclusive and nurturing one.

    The more we give in to the need to be heard, the more we lose our voice, and our sense of self.

    That’s when vulgarity becomes acceptable to us.

    Because in the absence of moderation, vulgarity becomes the only effective expression.

    Unless, of course, we’re mindful enough to realise that making a point through vulgarity destroys more than it achieves.

    And what it achieves is rarely the good that we hoped to create.

    Reclaim your voice.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock










  • Getting it wrong

    Getting it wrong

    An excerpt from my first book, The Egosystem, contemplating the impact of things not working out often leads to our greatest moments of inspiration.

    That’s part of the beauty of defeat. It creates a deepening appreciation for the dreams that we court.

    But we all have a tolerance level beyond which even the probability of hope feels like a threat to our sanity.

    When you reach that point, it’s important to understand that a new path doesn’t have to mean a new way to chase old dreams.

    Sometimes, it may mean abandoning dreams and pursuing new ones.

    Even if it’s just a dream of a solitary peace, after having spent yourself in trying to achieve a beautiful one with someone else.

    There are no rules to what you must hold onto, or what you must let go of. Similarly, there are no rules that dictate that you must let go of something before you pursue something new.

    Whatever balance you find in maintaining your sanity while believing in your reality, as long as no one else is affected, do it for you. Even if the rest of the world thinks you’re crazy.

    And don’t forget to breathe…

  • Don’t label your struggle

    Don’t label your struggle

    Mental health is about hope. The more hope we have for experiencing joy tomorrow, the better our mental health today.

    The human experience is not an illness.

    The best way to protect your mental health is by recognising your humanness.

    Don’t allow your reality to be labelled as something more than your experience of the ups and downs in your life.

    When you find yourself with more bad days than good days, it’s because you need to do something differently. You need to break a cycle that is not serving you well.

    When you find hope is scarce, or difficult to hold onto, reconnect with your passion and your principles, and trust that it’s not hope that dies, but just our distracted state that makes it difficult for us to sometimes connect with that hope.

    Gently clear away the distractions that have grown to define your state, and reconnecting with hope will come naturally.

    Be kind to yourself first, and not just in physical self care. If you find that difficult to do, , reach out on WhatsApp at +27836599183 or via my website at zaidismail.com for affordable coaching rates.

    Remember, you can’t give what you don’t have. Together, let’s create the life that you’ve always wanted.