This is a popular myth. People have been repeating selective truths to themselves for years without seeing a change in their circumstances. Our brains are rewired through experiences, and connecting our reality to the value of an outcome. It’s called neuroplasticity.
For this reason, courage is needed to attempt something that we have not experienced before.
Simply stated, we rewire our brains each time we learn something new, or do something new. It adds to our pot of knowledge that guides us through life.
That’s why people that have tons of book knowledge still struggle to grasp reality.
Life is about more than whispering affirmations to yourself in the mirror. It’s about action.
By all means, have the conversation with yourself in the mirror. But, if it’s not followed with action, don’t expect your life to change.
#ownyourlife #mentalhealth #theegosystem #mentalhealthawareness #livewithpurpose #mindfulness #takeaction #hope #optimisticquotes #lifecoaching #zaidismail
Category: Life Coaching
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Your brain doesn’t have a mind of its own
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You’re human. Be human.
We need to be careful with subscribing to a victim mindset.
Any form of abuse leaves emotional scars.
But that doesn’t mean it breaks us.
Nor does it mean that it’s impossible to heal from it.
Don’t believe everything you read.
No human is broken.
And every mind can be healed.
When we convince ourselves that we’re broken or that we can’t be healed, we create a self fulfilling prophecy, because what you set out to achieve is what you will achieve.
Besides, it’s not the physical pain of physical abuse that sticks with us, it’s the mental and emotional anguish that it leaves that haunts us.
Memes like the one above are well meaning, but they cause more harm to our mental health than they offer benefit or relief.
Be careful what you take from the Internet.
Good intentions have destroyed many lives.
No matter how elaborate and sincere your effort at solving a problem may be, if you don’t understand the problem well enough, you will go about solving the wrong problem until you eventually convince yourself that the real problem cannot be solved.
There is a solution for every problem except death. So if you’re not figuring it out, it means that you need more information and a fresh perspective of what you’re dealing with.
Remember: No one is broken. No one is damaged. No one is beyond help. It takes a single moment of realisation to turn your entire world around.
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #theegosystem #ownyourlife #motivation #zaidismail #lifecoaching -
Stop judging. Be human.
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING
This meme showed up on my timeline earlier and highlighted everything that is wrong with the way in which we treat each other.
There are a few terms that I generally disagree with (sometimes very strongly) if used to describe people.
These terms include broken, damaged, toxic, and basically anything that reduces a human to a single repulsive notion.
We lose our humanness when we see someone’s bad behaviour and assume that to be the totality of who they are.
No one is toxic. We may have destructive behaviours, or dysfunctional perspectives and so on. But that doesn’t make us toxic.
It makes us a human that is struggling to find our humanness in the absence of understanding or compassion from someone significant.
What’s more ‘toxic’? A single person that is allowed to define the tone of an entire family, or a family that lacks any conviction in their own self-worth to be defined by a single person?
Enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong, not only when it’s fashionable or easy, but especially when it’s difficult.
If we give up our ability to create good with those around us, we lose our right to complain about them letting us down.
If someone is angry or bitter, they’re feeling unappreciated.
Reduce a person’s sincere efforts towards fulfilling their part in a relationship to nothing more than duty and minimum expectation, and you’ll very quickly inspire ‘toxic’ behaviour on their part.
Drop the labels and start seeing the human behind the behaviour.
There will come a time when you will need others to show you the same empathy and compassion.
Just because you’re struggling to strike a balance between enabling bad behaviour versus understanding it doesn’t mean that the bad behaviour is toxic. It just means that you are not equipped or are not the right person to influence the positive change that you’d like to see in them.
Stop judging. Be human.
#emotionalabuse #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selfawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #theegosystem #ownyourlife #narcissist #narcissisticabuse -
10 Rules for life
If you don’t hold yourself accountable before you hold others accountable, you’re insincere about what you claim to uphold.
If you focus on everyone else’s shortcomings that you think may justify your behaviour, you will be defined by everyone else’s shortcomings.
Is that really the standard by which you want to live?
It always starts with you.
Here are the 10 Rules:
1. If you want to be trusted, conduct yourself with integrity and consistency at all times, not only when things are easy.
2. If you want to be respected, learn to respect others, not only when there’s something in it for you.
3. If you want to be appreciated, show appreciation for what you have and what you receive instead of behaving as if you’re entitled to everything that you need or want.
4. If you want to be treated like an adult, communicate like an adult instead of throwing tantrums or assuming that you’re right so there’s no need for you to convince anyone else about what you believe to be true.
5. If you want to feel cared for, show due care and consideration for others, and not only for people from whom you need things or from those who stroke your ego.
6. If you want the benefit of the doubt, work on your credibility instead of demanding to be treated as if you have credibility, especially if you did something that raised doubts about your credibility.
7. If you want to be heard, listen with the intention of understanding, and not with the intention of responding to prove that you’re right while ignoring the facts presented to you.
8. If you can’t handle the answer to a question, don’t ask the question because you’re looking to hear what you want to hear, rather than being interested in what others have to say.
9. If you don’t want others to assume the worst of you, stop assuming the worst of others.
10. If you want your rights to be respected, fulfil your responsibilities. All of it. Not only the ones that you think you need to or feel like fulfilling.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #theegosystem #ownyourlife #justsaying #rulesforlife #relationshipgoals #marriage #divorce -
Who do you want to be?
Don’t get so lost in trying to find yourself that you lose the opportunity to reinvent yourself.
If you’re struggling to discover who you are and what you should be doing with your life, perhaps it’s time to focus on who you want to be instead?
You cannot be purposeful about life if you don’t have a vision.
Your vision.
Not what you think everyone else wants you to be, or what you think you need to be so that everyone can accept and appreciate you.
Who do you want to be?
Not only in the bigger scheme of things, or in your career, or the role that you play for your significant others.
Who do you want to be in every moment of your life?
When you’re faced with disrespect or ingratitude, do you focus on what the other person deserves from you, or do you focus on living by your values?
The only time you need to pause and reconsider which values you’re upholding is if who you are enables others to cause harm either to themselves or to others.
When you find that being generous inspires laziness in others, then practice moderation in your generosity.
Or if you find that your understanding gives another no cause for restraint or accountability for their behaviour, then practice moderation in your understanding.
Always be mindful of who you want to be and what you want to enable.
Striking a balance between the two is the trial of life that brings peace or problems.
But, if connected to a greater purpose that you wish to serve – your vision of who you want to be – it becomes easier to be composed in the face of bad behaviour from others so that you don’t lose yourself to their demons.
Don’t be selfish, but don’t be a martyr either.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #theegosystem #ownyourlife -
Labelling humans
We dehumanise the human when we label their emotional experience as an illness.
The moment we attach a label to a life experience, we focus on the label and discard the merits of the experience.
We make people invisible when we deny the reality of their experience by suggesting that there is something clinically wrong with them, despite causality of their emotional upheaval being clearly associated with their experiences in life.
In other words, there is a clearly troubling or traumatising experience that they’ve endured to explain their emotional duress, yet we diminish their experience by ‘diagnosing’ them with an illness for feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or stressed, etc. simply because they’re affected by it for longer than we think they should be affected by it.
The victim readily embraces such labels because it offers hope where they feel hopeless, and allows them to abdicate responsibility for rising above it.
The oblivious or insensitive ones happily embrace such labels because it demands less emotional investment, or less accountability in their efforts to uplift or support those around them.
Our aversion to embrace the entirety of the human behind the troubled behaviour denies the victim a voice, or an opportunity to understand their painful experiences in life.
These labels are worn with shame because it denies us our humanness and makes us a symptom.
You cannot break the stigma of mental health by undermining the humanness of the ones affected by the stigma.
Kill the label, kill the stigma.
If you stigmatise someone’s real life experience, how can you possibly expect them to feel whole?
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #suicide #suicideprevention #suicidalawareness #suicideawarenessmonth #depression #anxiety #ownyourlife #theegosystem #embracingME #zaidismail -
It doesn’t make you stronger
The belief that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger is a lie.
It may prepare us for greater trials and opportunities, but we also grow impatient or intolerant when we find ourselves facing the same issues repeatedly.
Life feels fulfilling and purposeful when we solve a problem and move on, but feels exceedingly frustrating when we are compelled to deal with the same problem every day.
Eventually, it’s not the repeated problem that gets to us but rather anyone associated with such problems.
Like going to work and dealing with disrespect or unreasonable demands to constantly have to explain or defend yourself, and then getting home and being faced with similar experiences in a different context.
Those themes that are similar between work and home is what feels like a trigger or a provocation because emotionally, it resonates with the insignificance that we feel in both places.
And the same is true in reverse.
What we experience in our home life preloads us for what we’re willing to tolerate in our public or professional life.
The more mindful we are about this, the less likely we are to rage at those who have nothing to do with our misery. Be they loved ones, or strangers.
Don’t go looking for character building experiences that will make you stronger.
Life has plenty in store for you by design.
#hope #life #ownyourlife #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #whatdoesntkillyou #whatdoesntkillus #peace #mindfulness #lifecoaching #zaidismail -
You cannot make them rise
I’ve seen, and experienced first hand, the disaster that awaits when we convince ourselves that the demons that others deal with is our responsibility to resolve.
Being kind, compassionate, and even understanding does not mean that we must own the decisions that others have made, especially when those decisions include them choosing to hold on to anger from their past instead of embracing the opportunities of the future.
Remember that you can only offer someone a hand up, you cannot make them rise.
The same way that you must own the consequences of your decisions, you are responsible for giving them every opportunity to own theirs.
That includes not making yourself available as a doormat to them when they’re not owning it.
You’re not a hospital for the wounded egos of others.
Compassion doesn’t mean that you must be a martyr.
Sacrificing yourself to uplift another not only reflects ingratitude on your part for who you are and what you have, it denies your contribution of love to those that have a right to it, including yourself.
Moderation in everything, and everything in moderation.
Embrace your life fully, not only its struggles.
#selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #lifecoaching #zaidismail #ownyourlife #compassion #sincerity
