Tag: theegosystem

  • Farewell, it wasn’t fun

    Farewell, it wasn’t fun

    Goodbye to a year that has defined new depths of beauty and pain, and left its mark somewhere adrift between the two, leaving an ambivalence of hope and hopelessness, where once there was certainty.

    Nothing changes after midnight tonight. But the token of 2021 may give some hope, while the rest brace themselves for a continuation of the struggles of a year that most would want to forget, but everyone will always remember.

    Including the heartless who believe that being right about the pandemic is more important than being compassionate about the suffering that it continues to cause.

    We have a long way to climb to get ourselves out of this cess pool of humanity that we find ourselves in.

  • Trading your future for your past

    Trading your future for your past

    How much of life is wasted trying to reconcile the bad experiences of the past?

    For every moment that we spend dwelling on an injustice or oppression against us in the past, we impose an injustice and oppression on ourselves and others in the present moment.

    The present moment is what takes care of the future. That’s why we have much hopelessness and little inspiration to create a beautiful life for ourselves.

    When beauty appears, we are more inclined to reminisce about how it was lost or destroyed in the past, so we focus on protecting ourselves from such pain in the future, by discarding the beauty of the present moment.

    When the present moment is lost to the bad experiences of the past, we effectively trade our future for the pain of the past.

    That’s how life slips by while we watch from the sidelines waiting for justice.

    Waiting for fairness.

    Waiting to be appreciated.

    Waiting to be seen.

    Waiting for happiness.

    Waiting…stop waiting beloved. The same way you were able to create beauty amidst the horror, you are capable of creating beauty from the ashes of the life you once invested in.

    You were the source of that beauty, not them.

    Breathe, beloved. Breathe…exhale the toxins of who they were, and inhale the hope of the beauty that you are still capable of creating.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Surrender to servitude

    Surrender to servitude

    We all want to be significant because of who we are. This is what defines our place or sense of belonging in this world.

    When we find reason to believe that we are not enough, we convince ourselves that we will only ever be valued for what we can do.

    That’s when we stop trying to make our mark by being true to ourselves, and instead become defined by our efforts to excel at what we do.

    When this mindset sets in, we actively seek opportunities to serve, or to be recognised for our accomplishments, and not for our humanness.

    This is how we dull our spirit, settle for being invisible, and deny the world our unique contribution of who we are because we convince ourselves that it doesn’t matter. That we don’t matter. That all that matters is what we can do for others on their terms because what we want will always be too much for those around us.

    Nothing could be further from the truth. But we’ll only truly matter when we learn to appreciate ourselves despite the rejection or betrayal that we may face from those around us.

    Each time we subdue our spirit, we give others permission to take us for granted. That’s how we give up the sweetness of life.

    [This is an Incomplete thought process, but one I believe to be worth sharing]

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock


  • The struggle of faith

    The struggle of faith

    It is our belief in the value of something that drives us towards fighting to protect it.

    We cherish that which we appreciate, and we appreciate that which we value.

    Call it conviction in the value of the outcome, or belief in the beauty of its truth. Whatever it is, it is that unwavering faith in what we cherish as a truth that spawns the trials that we face when protecting or defending that truth.

    As is often said, when you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything. What isn’t said often enough is that when you stand for something, you’ll be plagued by everything that is threatened by what you stand for.

    Such is the burden of faith.

    Whether it is faith in the divine, or faith in the beauty of creation, faith compels us to protect and nurture that which we hold dear.

    For those who lack such faith, destroying or abusing what we cherish goes unnoticed, leaving us to contend with the destruction they leave in the path of their obliviousness.

    We contend with their destruction because of our faith in the value of what they threaten to destroy.

    Thus, holding on to that faith becomes the trial itself, when letting go holds the promise of ease from those struggles.

    But ease itself holds no value if it leaves a gaping hole where we once had fulfilment or joy.

    That’s why we hold on to faith. Not because we are afraid of letting go, but because we are afraid of feeling empty, or unfulfilled, after having felt, even for a brief moment, complete.



  • All that matters is right now…

    All that matters is right now…

    Reminiscing about the good old days becomes a toxic trait when it distracts us from what we have now.

    Our distracted state is what causes us to lose sight of what we have, so that at some future point, we may once more reminisce about what was.

    Such an indulgence, when done in excess, convinces us that the best is over, leaving the future barren, with no inclination on our part to find opportunity for new growth, and greater joys.

    Gratitude about the present moment is a result of appreciating what the past has contributed towards what we have, while reflecting on this inspires us about the possibility of what is to come.

    At some point, we need to realise that this moment, right now, is the past that will create our present moment in the future.

    Think about it. We’re so busy thinking of how good things once were, that we don’t realise that all we’re doing is giving ourselves reason to sit at some point in the future contemplating how much of our past was spent reminiscing about the past that came before that.

    Sounds ludicrous? It is, because that’s how ludicrous it is when we abandon the future because we chose to hold on to the bitterness of the past.

    The past, no matter how bad, does not dictate what the future holds. It only ever gives us a point of reference as to how much better things can be, and should be.

    Breathe, beloved…breathe…and release the toxins of the past with every exhalation, so that you create space for the promise of joy that the future holds.

  • Peace is not the absence of battles

    Peace is not the absence of battles

    When life feels overwhelming, the most effective way to slow things down is to choose our battles.

    Prioritising what’s important over what’s urgent usually sets the tone for what we tolerate or invest our time in, versus what we ignore or postpone.

    However, this only creates capacity to deal with new battles that may arise, it doesn’t create space for peace.

    Peace often remains elusive because we’re still responding to what comes our way rather than shaping what we want from life.

    More importantly, peace begins to feel like the absence of battles. It’s not.

    The absence of battles is just a breather. A break from the struggle. But as long as we know the struggle is waiting for us the moment we finished taking our breather, we won’t experience peace.

    Peace only becomes possible when we break the cycles that keeps inviting battles into our space.

    Breaking that cycle means knowing what we’re doing to feed that cycle of struggles that keep weighing us down.

    This demands emotional mindfulness, because it’s how we feel about what we’re facing that determines how we respond. As long as we focus only on the effectiveness of our response, we won’t be able to consciously choose to stop feeding the cycle that makes that response necessary.

    It’s not as complicated as it sounds. And peace is very achievable, despite having had a lifetime of pain or hardship.

    For more info, check out my website at zaidismail.com or reach out on WhatsApp at +27836599183 for affordable coaching that will bring the change that you so desperately want in your life.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • It’s not always about you

    It’s not always about you

    With due to respect to the author of this quote, I totally disagree with this view. This is why.

    It’s one thing to let someone know that you were hurt by something that they did or said. But it’s something totally different to blame them for hurting you.

    When you make them aware of how you feel about what they did, that’s owning your response and creating an opportunity for them to understand the impact that they have on you.

    When you insist that they hurt you, and deny them the right to say that they didn’t, you impose your belief on their intention behind what they did.

    Why is this important? Simple. The moment you blame someone else for your emotional response, you don’t own your response and instead, you give up your power to own your life. In other words, you become a victim of everyone else’s actions.

    Worse than this, you become the oppressor after feeling oppressed. Or the hurtful one after feeling hurt, because something completely innocent done by someone else becomes tainted with your trigger to that event. Or your bitterness about something that they are not responsible for.

    The same way that you want your emotions to be honoured by others, you need to honour their emotions as well. And you do this by trying to understand why they may do something that is hurtful to you without making it about you.

    Seek to understand. Like someone once told me, not all who claim to love, seek to understand. So just because you claim to love someone doesn’t give you the right to blame them for your hurt. That’s not love. That’s abuse. Abuse of the trust that they place in you.

    You can do better than that.

  • Don’t wait for justice

    Don’t wait for justice

    This world was created for respite, not for justice. Stop waiting for it to be OK before you move on with your life. It will never truly be OK.

    And when you eventually do move on, it’s because you stopped waiting for it to be OK, not because it suddenly was OK.

    Life is most often wasted waiting for retribution or reciprocation after we’ve been treated poorly or betrayed.

    When we wait for such justice to come to pass, it means that we’re more invested in our past than we are in our future.

    The irony is that we convince ourselves that we can’t have a future until we get justice for our past.

    The truth is, the future only becomes available to us when we have reconciled our contribution towards the outcomes of our lives.

    We’ll never be able to get into the heads of those who oppressed us or treated us badly.

    Waiting for them to step up and do the right thing is simply perpetuating the very reason why that relationship may have failed in the first place.

    The moment you reclaim your voice in your life, you reclaim your future, and you discard the shackles of the past.

    This doesn’t mean that by reclaiming your voice the issues from the past that continue to plague you will disappear.

    No. What it means is that your response to it will be defined by how much power you want it to have in your future, so that you’ll be able to choose your battles and your conditions for peace more wisely.

    Breathe, beloved…don’t forget to breathe. And between each breath, consider if your last breath was invested in your future, or your past…and choose more wisely the purpose of your next breath.