Tag: lifecoaching

  • Don’t wish away life

    Don’t wish away life

    Perspective is what makes the difference between feeling trialed, versus experiencing growth.

    The narrative that keeps reminding us that it’s a cruel world and that we must struggle to survive, distracts us from our contribution towards that cruel world.

    When things don’t go our way, we must remember the times when we were faced with unexpected difficulties and how we overcame them.

    But don’t focus on the amount of times you were faced with difficulties and wish that it would stop.

    Focus on the fact that despite your unpreparedness, you were able to overcome the difficulties.

    We cannot control what life throws at us. We can only do our best to either overcome it and move on, or find opportunity in it to create something beautiful or valuable.

    Recognising your abilities and appreciating the resources that you have access to will help you to remain focused on being purposeful rather than feeling burdened.

    Life is a passion that must be lived. And passion is never appreciated if it isn’t accompanied by some pain. Otherwise we take it for granted, and it ceases to be a passion of ours.

    That’s what wishing away trials and realities do for us. It robs us of our passion, and turns us into meek victims waiting for life to treat us kinder.

    Rise above it. Live passionately. Love deeply. And don’t waste life away worrying about could’ve and should’ve.

    Make every moment count.

  • Are you really you?

    Are you really you?

    We often speak of not letting go of our inner child. But, I always wonder why does it have to be something we hold within?

    Why can’t we embrace the innocence of our childish charms in everything that we do?

    Or did we take away that permission from ourselves when someone once said, “Act your age!”?

    What does it mean to act your age?

    Who defines what that should look like?

    Why do we want to fit in so badly, that we deny who we are when our playfulness may make some old fart feel uncomfortable about their soured soul?

    Stop waiting for permission to enjoy this fleeting life.

    We wait for permission when we look for a specific reaction before we fully commit.

    Or when we restrain ourselves from doing something because someone said it’s not age-appropriate.

    Worst of all, we wait for permission when we withhold who we are because we are disappointed that we’re not appreciated by those around us.

    That’s when we grow old focusing on the struggles of life, rather than reminiscing about the joys.

    Think back to a joyful moment, and it will feel like time flies.

    But think back to a painful moment, and suddenly life feels too long.

    All because we waited for permission before we embraced who we are. Child and all.

  • Build your village

    Build your village

    We’re bombarded every day with messages that try to convince us to put ourselves first.

    To protect ourselves from being taken for granted.

    To demand our rights.

    To claim our voice.

    To claim our space.

    And yes, all of that is important. But…

    What about what we’re required to contribute?

    Who reminds us of our responsibilities before they remind us to claim our rights?

    Or to make space for others in our lives before we demand that they make space for us?

    Weakness is born in the belief that if we don’t take care of ourselves, no one else will.

    Again, while that may have some truth in it, it also entrenches the belief that we must receive before we can give.

    It focuses our attention on threats, rather than opportunities to create something new and amazing.

    It convinces us that there must be something in it for us, before we are willing to act selflessly towards benefiting others.

    Individualism has robbed us of the beauty of belonging to a village. We need to build that village before we can hope to take comfort from what it offers.

    Give, create, contribute. Not because you need something in return, but because it is a sincere expression of who you are.

  • Mediocrity is the enemy of life

    Mediocrity is the enemy of life

    How often do you hold back so that you don’t ruffle feathers?

    Maybe you hold back because you don’t want to be the odd one out?

    Or perhaps you withhold what you’re capable of because you don’t want anyone to think that you are arrogant, or full of yourself, or trying to steal the limelight?

    When we focus more on what others think of us, than we do on the value of what we want to create, we surrender who we are, for what we think they want us to be.

    Mediocrity is celebrated by those who wish to be included.

    It is celebrated by those who want to be liked.

    Mediocrity is what maintains the status quo, or worse, allows us to slip into becoming irrelevant.

    It is the bold and the courageous.

    The ones who challenge conventions with purpose.

    The ones who don’t settle for what they have the moment they connect with the real life value of what could be better.

    They’re the ones that lead without meaning to.

    They’re the ones that uplift without expecting something in return.

    They’re the ones that create the fascinating experiences that offer a fulfilling life to the ones who celebrate mediocrity.

    Mediocrity is the enemy of progress.

    Mediocrity is the enemy of growth.

    Be careful of taking joy from being celebrated for what you know is not your best effort. Otherwise you may end up holding on to that accolade, from fear of not being able to achieve it if you push yourself beyond it.

    Live curiously. Live purposefully. Live loud. Don’t just exist. Live!

  • Gratitude spawns respect

    Gratitude spawns respect

    Disrespect is often followed by discipline, or some other form of consequence management.

    While there is a need to correct bad behaviour, we can either spend our lives correcting that behaviour, or we can recognise that it’s a symptom of something else.

    That something else is the absence of gratitude.

    No. Not gratitude for what we have. Because that’s the other mistake we make.

    When we consider what we’re grateful for, we look around us, but rarely within.

    This is true for all humans, children and adults alike.

    Disrespect is a form of anger.

    Anger is a defence mechanism used to demand significance when we feel insignificant.

    Respond to the anger, and you lose sight of why there is insignificance.

    Just like responding to the disrespect only will cause you to lose sight of the absence of gratitude within the one who is behaving disrespectfully.

    That ingratitude is based on the belief that we’re not good enough. And we believe we’re not good enough only when we don’t value who we are, and what benefit others obtain from our contribution or our presence.

    Remember, you cannot nurture something that you’re not aware of.

    That’s why we take ourselves and others for granted, and end up being dismissive, disrespectful, or abusive, because we lost sight of the good within us, or them. Or both.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock



  • Discover your why

    Discover your why

    Flipped open the book to a random page and found this.

    I don’t think there is anything that drives us towards anger or happiness more than this single principle.

    Understanding it within the context of our lives is crucial towards achieving fulfilment in our relationships.

    “We must believe that we matter, that our presence is of consequence to the outcome of a greater good, or else we wither away in isolation or irrelevance.”

    This is at the heart of misery and joy.

    The fear of being inconsequential is what drives both, the most passionate embrace and the most despicable behaviour.

    If you don’t understand how this drives or affects you, you’ll be prone to emotional highs and lows that will leave you exhausted or depressed without knowing why.

    Reach out via my website at zaidismail.com or on WhatsApp at +27836599183, and let’s figure out your why…
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    Image : page 37 of Own Your Sh!t

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  • Fanning our rage

    Fanning our rage

    Fear is driven by need.

    The moment we give up on the need, the fear subsides.

    Our need to be significant to those who are significant to us drives most of the fears that may fan our rage at the world.

    But only for as long as we still have hope that there is a chance for us to be significant to them.

    When we give up on achieving that status in their lives, the fear subsides and gives way to an emptiness that carries with it no energy at all.

    That emptiness feels like peace after a lifetime of struggle. But only until we realise that when that peace entered, hope departed.

    Thus, the dulling of the soul begins.

    Quietly receding, carefully subduing, and slowly disappearing from the lives of those we once courted.

    Until, eventually, we successfully fade from our own life.

    Some see it as a cowardly surrender. Or perhaps a convenient choice.

    If only it was convenient to be invisible, more would choose that over self destruction, or suicide.

    When we stop paying attention to those who seek us out, we surround ourselves with those we seek instead.

    If we don’t find a balance between the two, we’ll find the isolation that accompanies being both, looking for a place to belong, but finding none.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Choose your moment

    Choose your moment

    We all have a touch of insanity that threatens to overwhelm us at times.

    Instead of competing to be heard above the noise of the madness around you, your sanity may be better served by finding peace in being able to choose your madness.

    When we lose sight of what is important because we’re focused on being heard, we lose ourselves to the effort of competing with the struggles of others.

    If everyone focuses on wanting to have their struggles honoured, who will find time to rise above it?

    We’re human. By design, we are emotional beings.

    But we must recognise that our emotions make us aware of how we are experiencing something, while our intellect enables our response to it.

    When we honour our emotions above all else, we deny ourselves the opportunity to learn from the experience so that we may rise above it.

    We must find balance in everything, even in our emotional expression, or else we risk losing ourselves to the very thing we claim to define our space in this world.

    Choose your moments.

    Choose your battles.

    Choose your audience.

    Not every moment is yours to claim.

    Not every battle needs to be fought.

    Not every audience is committed to hearing your story, or honouring your struggle.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock