The ones driven by the validation of others turn themselves into victims.
The ones driven by the belief that no one cares or no one understands, turn themselves into oppressors and abusers.
But when we’re so focused on our own struggles, we fail to see the struggles that we introduce into the lives of others.
That’s why we have no shortage of people reminding others to treat everyone with kindness, but rarely treating anyone with kindness if there’s nothing in it for them.
Even our humanity has become a transaction in this capitalistic world of individual worship.
We worship our needs before we revere any principles or values that we claim to uphold.
Hence humanity’s slide into the abyss of loneliness.
When will we awaken? 😞
#givingup #hopelessness #isolation #redundant #forgotten #selfishness #selfloathing #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #zaidismail
Tag: ownyourlife
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Humanity for sale
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In pursuit of a life worth living
We get it wrong so often.
We chase the means to an end and neglect the end.
We find reason to exhaust ourselves in accumulating the trophies of life while discarding life along that journey.
The celebrity lifestyle teaches us that a celebration of our accomplishments is rarely a celebration of who we are.
The accumulation of wealth, the active pursuit of health, or the courting of fame all distract us from the truth of who we are as we grow to be defined by what we achieve.
And in that way, we give others reason to judge us or to embrace us based on those achievements, rather than allowing them to connect with the human behind it all.
A life well lived is one that is an expression of your authentic self.
To know your authentic self, you must reach within before you become defined by what you have around you.
It is through connecting with who we are, appreciating ourselves for the beauty and the flaws birthed from the struggles of our lives, and recognising the resilience of spirit that we possess that instils an authenticity of self that no trial will ever be able to smother.
It is through this realisation of the self that we will apply ourselves with conviction, passion, and purpose in our pursuit of creating value in the lives of others.
It is that value that is uniquely ours to contribute, that creates the fulfilment that feeds our soul, nourishes our body, and creates space for the rewards that such contribution inevitably earns.
Wealth is relative. Contentment is not. Be sure you’re chasing the right one before you lose both. Or worse, before you lose yourself.
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#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #ownyourshit #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #motivation #optimism #lifegoals -
Looking for love in all the wrong places
The shame that we carry within us about what we believe is lacking about ourselves, sometimes causes us to reject those who embrace us despite knowing the worst side of us.
But because we reject that part of who we are, and are not willing to see our humanness attaching shame to it, we try to escape the embrace of the one who accepts it, so that we can avoid facing it or dealing with it.
That’s how we find ourselves pushing away those close to us, while trying to win favour or earn the affection or validation of someone who doesn’t know that side of us.
Because when we try to escape who we really are, we find it necessary to also escape anything that reminds us of that version of ourselves that we’ve rejected.
Growth and healing is not found in rejecting the scars or the wounds of the past.
Growth is experienced when we dress those wounds with understanding and acceptance, and when we caress those scars with love and affection.
Looking for acceptance from others while rejecting ourselves, creates a tension within us that makes us defensive the moment they get close to revealing the shame that we still hold within us, about ourselves.
It is that defensiveness that destroys yet another good relationship, as we hold them accountable for the very same reasons that we once rejected those who made bad decisions in response to the hurt that we caused in their hearts.
This is how we sabotage the life we’re trying to create, while blaming the world for not accepting us.
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#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #ownyourshit #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself -
Soul food doesn’t feed the ego
Be careful about advice that makes you feel good but doesn’t resolve anything.
Things that make us feel good either provides us with an emotional high and feeds our ego, or with a spiritual high and feeds our soul.
When we strike a healthy balance between the two, we find peace.
So, be careful of people that only feed your emotional needs, but don’t know how to feed your soul.
Worse still, be careful about confusing emotional fulfilment with soul food. The one makes you feel good about where you’re at, and the other inspires you to grow beyond where you’re at.
Choose carefully.
#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #ownyourshit #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealth #lifecoach #soulfood #theegosystem #mentalhealthawareness #selfloathing -
Elusive peace…
Peace…that elusive mist that needs to enshroud everything.
Its absence creates the need to change the circumstances of our lives, so that we leave no space for nothing, needing every space to be filled with something.
Some look to fill those spaces with trinkets and tokens.
Others look to fill it with purposeful endeavours.
But central to both, lies the need to benefit someone in our efforts to avoid being no one.
Without that someone, we remain unfulfilled and incomplete.
Similar to the nothingness in the absence of peace.
Because life must be lived, and living must leave a legacy.
But a legacy ceases to be a legacy if it has no inheritors at the moment of our passing.
This primal instinct to be something is what drives our efforts towards avoiding being nothing.
The threat of which is the root to losing ourselves to the distraction of everything, when we lose hope of ever being something…to someone…but not just anyone.
Thus, the test of gratitude enters, as we reject some in our pursuit of others, never knowing for certain the impact we have on the lives that we touch.
Photo credit : Adobe Stock
#life #love #loneliness #solitude #companionship #foreverincomplete #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #zaidismail -
Emotional health before physical wellbeing
As well-intentioned as this is, it is not true.
Our body does not have a mind of its own.
And laziness is not about the amount of rest that we need.
As is clearly experienced by many, getting enough rest most certainly does not guarantee productivity. Nor does it remedy procrastination.
So what is laziness about? And does it actually exist?
Laziness is how we describe the behaviour that we observe or experience when someone lacks the inclination to complete a task or project.
The question we should therefore be asking is not why are we lazy? Or why our body supposedly needs rest. We should be questioning why we’re not committed to the task at hand.
When we don’t believe in the value of the outcome relative to the effort that we need to put into something, chances are good that we’ll avoid it until we can’t avoid it any longer.
Otherwise we’ll do it only if there is a threat of negative consequences for not doing it.
Don’t detach your emotional space from your physical experience. Your body responds to your emotional disposition, it doesn’t define it.
When we lose sight of this, we eee illness or dis-ease taking hold in our body, and we feel emotionally burdened because of it, rather than focusing on our emotional duress that we may be experiencing up to that point, and understanding that our body is simply responding to that duress.
It sounds more complicated than it is. The important take-away from this is that when you experience lethargy or ailments in your body, it’s a sign that you’ve been under emotional duress for an extended period.
Medication may provide temporary relief. But it won’t address the emotional duress, leaving you susceptible to more ailments taking hold in your body.
Do you need help to reverse the physical impact of the emotional upheaval that you’ve experienced in life? Reach out via my website at zaidismail.com or on WhatsApp at +27836599183 to discover how we can reverse the effects of chronic illnesses without medication, while simultaneously improving the quality of your life and your relationships with significant others.
#holistichealth #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #ownyourlife -
Ingratitude breeds ingratitude
When we’re ungrateful for who we are,
When we deny any good in ourselves that others may see,
When we ignore our beauty because there may exist some ugly,
We protect ourselves from attachment to anything wholesome or beautiful in life.
Our need for such protection is a deeply ingrained fear about never being good enough.
Not good enough for the standards that we hope to live up to, nor good enough for what we think we need to be to those around us.
The self loathing ensures that this conversation remains in our heads, and is only expressed as rage or bitterness, or many times, as deliberate ingratitude.
But ingratitude does more than just take our lives for granted.
Ingratitude convinces loved ones that they’re not good enough either.
Ingratitude distorts good intentions into bad motives.
Ingratitude breeds within others what we loathe about ourselves, while convincing us that it harms no one.
Ingratitude is the real root of evil.
It is ingratitude that destroys hope.
It is ingratitude that destroys love.
And it is ingratitude that destroys gentleness.
You cannot give what you don’t have.
When ingratitude for your self takes hold, the sincerity of any gratitude that you hope to express towards others lacks authenticity and leaves them questioning your sincerity.
Ingratitude is a vicious cycle that destroys every good that it touches, and breaks every soul that may once have been whole.
And that’s how peace becomes elusive.
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#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #ownyourshit #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #fuckit #gratitude #appreciation #selflove -
To be…
Much of life is wasted in the time spent considering if we should or shouldn’t do that thing that we’re passionate about.
That consideration is most often based on our doubts about what others will think, and rarely because we doubt the value of doing it.
Sometimes, we persevere and find the courage within ourselves to follow through despite the absence of support or encouragement from those around us.
And sometimes we stop wanting to push through because we feel worn down and invisible.
No one can change which choice we make. But the moment we choose that person that we want to share our passion with, without whom we see no point in sharing it, we give them the power to make that choice for us without them realising what power they have over us.
Sometimes, telling them about it endears them towards us.
But sometimes, the burden of expectation that it places on them pushes them further away, leaving us convinced that the value we thought we could share was not of much value at all.
The human condition is a beautifully complicated mess.
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#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #ownyourshit #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #fuckit #optimism #lifegoals #dreambig #motivation
