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Gratitude is not appreciation
Gratitude speaks more to our soul than any gift or trinket, or whispers of endearment. Gratitude is impossible without respect,and respect is impossible without honesty,and honesty is impossible without sincerity,and sincerity is impossible without self-respect,and self-respect is impossible without conviction,and conviction is impossible without self-worth… And so it continues until we realise that expecting gratitude…
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Who’s responsible for your joy?
Do you enjoy being held responsible for how someone else feels about themselves? When they feel good and attribute that to us, we feel good. But does it feel good when they blame us for their self-loathing, or their misery? People who willingly accept responsibility for how you feel about yourself prevent you from owning…
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Expect to expect more
There’s a fallacy out there that it’s possible to live without expectation. Yeah, it’s a fallacy, cos it’s impossible. When you try to live without expectation, you’re defending yourself against being hurt. When you defend yourself preemptively, it means that you believe that you’re weak enough not to be able to deal with disappointment. More…
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The right to demand your rights…
The more we emphasise our rights, the less time we spend understanding our responsibilities. The rights that others have over us is the responsibilities that we have towards them, and vice versa. The moment we focus on only one side of that equation, we become oppressors. If we focus on our rights but neglect our…
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Telling yourself sweet little lies?
You lie to yourself most when you tell someone, “You make me feel…” No one can make you feel anything without your permission. You give your permission when you’re more focused on what you need from them to feel whole, rather than what you value about yourself. The moment you hand over the custody of…
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Are you abused, or an abuser?
While abuse is never to be taken lightly, if we’re not careful, we can easily become a tool of the abuser. A betrayal of trust, especially if repeated often, changes the lenses through which we view the behaviour of others. If we’re not careful, the bitterness of such betrayal wears down our tolerance or patience…
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Are you betraying yourself?
Betrayal stings. It doesn’t always take the form of an explicit breach of trust. Most often, I believe, betrayal is felt when we put in the effort to make significant others aware of what is important to us, only to watch them repeatedly take it for granted, or treat it with disregard. Betrayal is what…
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Every mind can be healed
TRIGGER WARNING: If you prefer a victim mindset, don’t read further. This is an extremely important reminder given the horribly unhealthy mindset that this meme encourages. There is no such thing as a broken mind. There is a struggling human, and there is good reason to feel duress, even debilitating duress. Understanding the reasons for…
