Tag: relationshipgoals

  • Dancing with destiny

    Dancing with destiny

    A snippet of a thought from the sequel to my novel, An Incomplete Love Story.

    We’re living in such uncertain times, and the uncertainty seems to be seeping into my thought processes.

    “Whether we were cut from the same cloth before time began, or we were shaped by life to be perfectly matched, it doesn’t matter. Destiny doesn’t always win. Sometimes, we avert destiny because we prefer the familiarity of our fears rather than the uncertainty of hope.”

    This, if ever it is written, will be central to the theme of my next novel, Taqdeer: A dance with destiny.

    Tell me what you think. Should I write the sequel, or should this be one of those love stories that should forever remain incomplete?

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • The balance of happiness

    The balance of happiness

    Without meaning to, life can become a trading exercise in which we give something with the expectation of receiving something else in return.

    That’s when it gets complicated. When the assumptions of one or both becomes entangled in the belief that happiness lies in a like-for-like exchange of sentiment or gifts, or perhaps effort.

    Sometimes, happiness is found in the opportunity to love without resistance to it.

    The ability to have your expression received graciously and appreciatively, because in such acceptance lies the happiness of the one who gives, and the gracious acceptance forms the expression of love of the one who receives.

    Happiness is found in differing expressions of love creating a beautiful whole.

    It’s when servitude meets devotion, or nurturing meets strength that the two complement each other, rather than compete with each other.

    Happiness is found in the balance that is born from the two, not in trying to create a singular expression between the two as one.

    Too often we assume the happiness of another to be dependent on our active contribution towards them, rather than realising that it is simply our appreciation of their contribution towards us that creates the fulfilment that would calm the souls of both.

    Calm souls create beauty, while anguished souls create destruction. Breathe beloved…just breathe…

    Photo credit: Adobe Stock

  • A gentle neglect

    A gentle neglect

    It is better to die of violence, swift and decisive, than to die of a gentle neglect, slow and painful.

    The violent episode holds the promise of a quickened relief from the anguish of life, while being abandoned offers a view of our decaying spirit, while tortured by hope.

    Living with hope is a curse when immersed in a reality of hopelessness.

    Hopelessness is a convenience that spurns love, and embraces the cold comfort of solitude.

    It is the absence of risk, but also the absence of joy.

    Nonetheless, it carries with it the promise of not being betrayed…again.

    Again, because hopelessness only sets in when we’ve been viciously abandoned before, making the hope of being cherished too painful to consider.

    We nourish the cruelty of the world that kills our spirit, when we abandon what we love in favour of holding on to the familiarity of what we loathe.

    Thus, we destroy the very remedy for which we’ve been praying to heal our broken soul.

    Our eyes reveal the hollow in the light of day, and the stinging brutality in the quiet of night, knowing that none look close enough during the daylight hours, while praying that the one who sees everything takes pity on our souls in the tortured darkness.

    Breathe, beloved…just breathe…hopelessness has no home in a cherished heart.

  • A life beyond being

    A life beyond being

    Without experiencing the joy of living, life will remain a dutiful encounter.

    Similarly, without experiencing the sweetness of true love, love will feel like a need to serve and to be served.

    It is only in connecting with an experience beyond what we imagined to be the limits of what is possible, that we begin to pursue the impossible.

    But such an experience cannot be taught, nor can it be studied to be appreciated.

    Intellectualising it makes it a dream, while experiencing it makes it the only acceptable outcome.

    But…fear…

    Fear destroys dreams and replaces it with complacency.

    Because the fear of losing what we deeply yearn for, is more daunting than living our dream.

    So we protect our dreams from abandoning us, or us abandoning them, by convincing ourselves that such romantic aspirations are not for this world.

    Because what was birthed in heaven, cannot be sustained on earth.

    Faith is all that stands between a life worth living, and an existence worth protecting.

    Have faith, beloved… And just breathe…

  • Don’t deny your heart

    Don’t deny your heart

    Silence can never render the heart’s true yearnings irrelevant or obsolete…it only makes it more torturous until fulfilled…if ever

    The heart’s true yearnings slowly morph into unfulfilled moments of angst that are beyond explanation or reason

    Sleep soon escapes us as we try to busy ourselves with the urgencies of life in our efforts to distract us from that gaping void

    A void that can only be filled by responding to the yearning of the heart

    But whose yearning we’d much rather suppress than to risk hurting a tender heart more than its current pain

    Once battered, trust is abandoned

    The heart then becomes a slave to its yearnings while being shackled to its grief

    Breathe beloved, breathe…just breathe…and allow your heart to muster courage that escapes your will.


  • Don’t sell yourself short

    Don’t sell yourself short

    When you surrender your principles in exchange for affection, you give others permission to demand compromises rather than create understanding.

    Worse than this, when you make such a compromise, you undermine your worth in the relationship by giving up what you believe in, not because you changed your beliefs, but because you wanted to be accepted.

    Instead of upholding your truth, you settle for inclusion by those who don’t subscribe to your truth.

    After some time, when the price of that inclusion begins to take its toll, you’ll find yourself adrift without your principles to anchor you, and with the realisation that they never really accepted you in the first place.

    How could they if you didn’t reveal to them the truth of who you were?

    That’s when life feels empty or burdensome, and anger becomes the tool through which we demand our significance in those relationships because we were hoping that at some point they would see our sacrifice and appreciate us for it, only to discover that our sacrifice was never important to begin with.

    That anger is not always directed at those who didn’t appreciate us. Often, it’s directed at ourselves for not being good enough.

    Think carefully before you compromise who you are just so that you can fit in. Every compromise comes at a cost. Be sure that you’re willing to pay the cost before you lose yourself in the process.

  • Poetry of old

    Poetry of old

    “Poetry often belies the age of the poet,

    but always reveals the struggles of the soul.

    What we write of youth, applies to old.

    But most would rather resist it,

    Than bear the truth be told.

    I’m in love with life.

    But I hate the world.”

    It’s possible to live life romantically, you know. Despite the horrors and pain that appear to be so pervasive in this world, perhaps romance is the ultimate rebellion against the cruelty of life.

    Perhaps.

    This is something that I wrote a few years ago, it still accurately describes my conflicted relationship with this world.

    What you take from this, be it pessimistic, optimistic, or simply cynical, is a reflection of who you are and what your current relationship is with your world.

    Yet, most will read into this what they believe to be true about me, not realising that what we see in others is a reflection of what we are hopeful, grateful, or bitter about in that moment.

    How connected are you with your relationship with the world around you?

  • Understanding misunderstanding

    Understanding misunderstanding

    When we find that, despite our sincerest efforts, we continue to be misunderstood, consider that perhaps we need to focus on understanding instead.

    Understanding becomes difficult when we’re gripped with the desperation of needing others to understand how important something is to us.

    That desperation is often driven by fear, or self pity, rather than conviction. And it’s fed by a belief that they simply don’t realise how important it is.

    If we’re not careful, this is how we become the architects of our own misery, or the result of our own self-fulfilling prophecy.

    The greater our emotional investment, the more likely we are to contaminate that space with fear or self pity.

    Creating space for understanding is the most important thing you can do to avoid a potential lifetime of regret.