Tag: hope

  • Life is nothing without gratitude

    Life is nothing without gratitude

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    Life is nothing without gratitude

    Gratitude is only possible if you’re present in the moment you’re in.

    Fear distracts us from the present moment by reminding us of the past and tainting our experience of the present.

    It’s when we look for evidence in the present moment of the causes of pain from our past, that we find reason to protect ourselves from the future, while missing the value of the present.

    Many of life’s beautiful moments are lost because we’re waiting for someone to recognise our struggle, or to make up for our pain.

    It’s not about whether you deserve better or not.

    It’s about whether you do better with what you’ve got.

    Putting your life on hold while waiting for justice or revenge only puts YOUR life on hold. No one else’s.

    When you finally realise this, you either have reason to rage even more because you suddenly noticed how everyone else’s lives moved on while you still haven’t received justice, or you have reason to realise that it’s your life that is being wasted for a moment that has already passed.

    By all means, seek justice if need be.

    However, don’t cause further injustice to yourself and to those who have rights over you by destroying the good you have while waiting for the bad to be avenged.

    Gratitude is impossible when we’re fixated on the past.

    And happiness is impossible if we’re afraid of the future.

    It always starts with you. Now.

    Own Your Life.

  • Ungratefully appreciative

    Ungratefully appreciative

    Words that carry good intention but lack conviction, often causes more harm than good.

    Like expressing appreciation for the blessings that we have, but treating those blessings with disregard because we lack true gratitude for it.

    The expression of appreciation towards something is the equivalent of a good intention, and nothing more.

    Gratitude runs much deeper than appreciation.

    Appreciation is merely acknowledgement of what good we recognise we have in our life or the good in someone who contributes towards it.

    Sometimes, it is acknowledgment of a convenience or even an essential item that we have, like a car, or a house, or good health.

    However, gratitude is what you do with what you appreciate, or how you treat those whom you claim to appreciate.

    Gratitude is lost when we always intend to do great things but get distracted by the petty things resulting in a lack of follow through.

    That lack of follow through betrays the trust that we place in ourselves to achieve our goals, and it betrays the trust that others place in us when we express good intentions towards them but don’t follow through.

    Therefore, the absence of gratitude when we express appreciation feels like insincerity and dishonesty, despite the good that we may sincerely intend at the time of expressing appreciation for what or who we have in our lives.

    Remember, it’s what you do with what you have, and how you treat those you claim to appreciate, that determines whether you are truly grateful for them, or if you take them for granted while acknowledging what good you get from it, or them.

    It always starts with you.

  • Avoiding life is waiting for death

    Avoiding life is waiting for death

    Sometimes, avoiding drama seems like the only possibility of experiencing peace.

    But, that’s like saying that as long as we’re not sad, we must be happy.

    We know that’s not true.

    The absence of unpleasant events in our life may give us reason to be grateful for not having them, but it doesn’t mean that we’ll feel fulfilled or content with the life that we have.

    That lack of contentment is what leaves us feeling uneasy or restless, knowing that we should be grateful that it could be worse, but also knowing that there must be more to life than just the avoidance of drama, or the fulfilment of responsibility.

    We weren’t created to maintain a status quo.

    Since birth, we were driven towards progress and improvement, and stagnation felt like a threat to the joy of life.

    Because it is.

    Stagnation kills our spirit and convinces us that there is nothing much to look forward to.

    If every day seems like a repeat of the day before, what then becomes the purpose or reason to want to rise to a new day?

    Avoiding unpleasant outcomes is only enough to avoid unnecessary trouble, but it doesn’t mean growth or fulfilment.

    If you want to experience the sweetness of life, you need to go beyond avoiding things, and instead, start embracing new experiences, new ideas, and new concepts.

    You must be improving the quality of life of those around you, and not just your own.

    Fulfilment and joy is experienced from seeing the face of another light up because of your contribution towards their life, it’s not through seeing an extra digit on your bank balance.

    That bank balance means nothing if it doesn’t bring joy or upliftment to those around you.

    And not having someone to share your joy with is like witnessing a beautiful sunset, by yourself, each day, every day, until witnessing the sunset by yourself feels inconsequential.

    That’s what the absence of drama is like.

    It feels empty and pointless, because there is no point to a life of stagnation.

    Own Your life.

  • Celebrate the victim, destroy the human

    Celebrate the victim, destroy the human

    What we take from a traumatic event is infinitely more important than the event itself.

    It’s how we feel about what we experienced that weighs down on us more than the experience itself.

    The more it shakes our confidence, the greater our need for reassurance and support.

    While it’s entirely understandable to be overwhelmed in the aftermath of a terrible experience, it’s entirely avoidable to become defined by that experience.

    That’s when we need to be careful about celebrating or revering the experience of the victim to the point of not building them up to rise above it.

    Rising above the horrors of life doesn’t mean carrying a badge of honour to let the world know what you survived.

    That’s honouring the victim.

    Rising above it means seeing the experience for what it was, recognising what you didn’t know or couldn’t have controlled, and most importantly, remedying your trust that was broken in that moment of upheaval.

    Because that is what is lost when we experience a traumatic event.

    Our trust with the world is broken, leaving us gripped with fear because of the uncertainty of everything that we once embraced as our safe space.

    When we celebrate the victim, we redirect their trust to be placed in their support structures and safe spaces, rather than rebuilding their trust in themselves so that they don’t carry that experience as a dark shadow for the rest of their lives.

    This is not victim blaming. It’s destroying the impact of the aggressor beyond the moment of aggression.

    Own Your Life.



  • Conviction or distraction?

    Conviction or distraction?

    From The Egosystem, a reminder that when you are pursuing something new, don’t expect the people around you to understand or to buy into why you are passionate about it.

    Most of us are surrounded by people who live safely. Who fit in as best as they can.

    When you threaten to disrupt that safe space by going against the grain, you’ll get reactions that are more about their insecurity than it is about how they feel about you.

    One of our biggest mistakes is that we don’t pay attention to what we represent to others, because we’re so focused on what we think they think of us.

    Most people are too distracted to have an informed opinion of who you are, but their defences make them vocal about what they think you should do.

    That’s why mindfulness and self-awareness are critical if you hope to break the hold that your environment or your past has on you.

    If you don’t believe, with conviction, in the value of what you want to achieve, you’ll be distracted by every naysayer that crosses your path.

    Some of them will be really sincere in their concern for you and your quality of life, but their concern does not mean that they’re right. It just means that they care.

    Striking a balance between appreciating their concern, maintaining a healthy tone to that relationship, and still pursuing your dreams with vigour is probably the greatest challenge in pursuing something new.

    Focus on the value that you want to create, and trust that when they’ve had an opportunity to experience that value, those who matter will be by your side, and those who don’t will reveal themselves for the distractions that they are in your life

    Own Your Life.

  • If you think you can’t, then you won’t…

    If you think you can’t, then you won’t…

    Archive Post… I can’t count how often I’ve been told, “Not everyone is like you!”

    That comment was usually in response to me encouraging them to do better or to rise above what was troubling them.

    You see, the assumption that a weak person makes is that some people are gifted to be more successful than others.

    The reality though, is that we all have the same potential.

    Some just realise that waiting for permission to be capable in their own right is a waste of life. So they own their contribution towards what they want to achieve.

    Unfortunately, too many convince themselves that they’re not built that way. That they’re not as gifted or that no one understands what they’re going through.

    But, like Henry Ford said, “If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

    Sadly, too many think that they can’t, and then blame the world for the state in which they find themselves.

    We place limitations on ourselves most often out of spite, rather than because we truly believe we’re limited in some way.

    Do you know why spite? Because there are too many that will refuse to do something for themselves just because someone they don’t like, or don’t respect suggested that they should do it.

    It’s a result of a low self-worth car causes us to focus more on what others may think of us, than what we think of ourselves.

    That’s why emotional maturity is so important, and emotional maturity is impossible without self-awareness.

    Worrying about what others think of you is a distraction from self-awareness.

    With so many people distracted, it’s little wonder that most don’t know how to own their life.

    It always starts with you.

  • Trading the future for the past

    Trading the future for the past

    Sometimes, we lose ourselves in the struggle to build the future that we want, while forgetting that it’s a struggle because we’re still living in the past.

    Our expectations about what opportunities lie ahead, or what we believe we’re capable of achieving, are defined by what we believe to be true about the events that got us to the present moment.

    It is the betrayals, the disappointments, the failures, and the downright bad luck that we may have experienced before, that weigh us down in the present.

    Unless we see it for what it was, we’ll believe that we’re striving for the future, while not realising that all we’re doing is trying to avoid a repeat of the past.

    That’s how the present moment is lost.

    And it’s the present moment that shapes the future, never the past.

    Recognising what was out of our control, or what was a result of the demons that others were fighting, and especially recognising why it was impossible for us to have known better at that time, is what breaks the emotional choke hold of the past, so that we may be able to reclaim the present.

    Even if you chose to ignore good advice, in that moment, the reasons for your emotions pulling you towards ignoring it needs to be understood if you ever hope to be more mindful about such opportunities in future.

    Judging ourselves, or others, only ever has relevance at the time of trying to figure out what our contribution was towards that unpleasant outcome.

    The moment we accept that contribution, judgement no longer has any place in what shapes our decisions for the future.

    If you want your future to be worth looking forward to, you need to reclaim the present moment by making peace with your past, no matter how bitter or painful the impact of it may be.

    If not, you trade your future for that same bitter past, while blaming others for denying you your happiness.

    It always starts with you.

  • Confidently you…and only you

    Confidently you…and only you

    The question is, do you know yourself well enough to have an informed opinion of yourself?

    When we rely on others for more than just feedback, and instead, we allow them to validate who we are, we essentially give them the power to define how we feel about ourselves.

    Listening to what others think of you must be done with one single focus in mind.

    It must be with the objective of determining whether or not the message that you intended was in fact the message that they received.

    But that means that you must know what your message is.

    What is your unique contribution?

    Self-awareness shifts your focus from being aware of how others see you, to being aware of who you want to be.

    Once you improve your awareness of who you want to be, you’ll begin to accept input from others as feedback on whether you’re achieving that goal, or not.

    You won’t get distracted by trying to convince them to think kindly of you, or by feeling a need to defend what you’ve fallen short in.

    It’s a subtle but critical difference, and the difference could be sanity and peace, versus going crazy looking for validation from people who themselves have yet to accept who they are.

    Choose wisely, or else it will be a case of the blind leading the blind.

    So…do you know who you are, or do you rely on others to validate whether you’re good or bad, likeable or annoying, significant or invisible?

    It always starts with you.