Tag: companionship

  • That empty bench…

    That empty bench…

    The saddest scene for me has always been the abandoned park bench.

    It echoes with profound intensity the pervasive isolation that too many experience, but too few reveal.

    There is a shame that is carried upon the broken wings of abandonment that anchors us in that space between wanting to create beauty in this world, while believing that it will always be unreachable for ourselves.

    So we birth the martyr within, presenting it as the selfless lover without.

    Being sure to distract others with affection, so that no one notices how achingly we stare at those empty benches.

    Those benches that once bore the hopes and dreams of togetherness.

    Those benches that once were claimed as sacred spaces.

    Those benches that remain available to the next loving embrace between its arms, knowing that once the lovers move on, it will remain, rooted to that spot, waiting to be embraced and abandoned, again.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock


  • Elusive peace…

    Elusive peace…

    Peace…that elusive mist that needs to enshroud everything.

    Its absence creates the need to change the circumstances of our lives, so that we leave no space for nothing, needing every space to be filled with something.

    Some look to fill those spaces with trinkets and tokens.

    Others look to fill it with purposeful endeavours.

    But central to both, lies the need to benefit someone in our efforts to avoid being no one.

    Without that someone, we remain unfulfilled and incomplete.

    Similar to the nothingness in the absence of peace.

    Because life must be lived, and living must leave a legacy.

    But a legacy ceases to be a legacy if it has no inheritors at the moment of our passing.

    This primal instinct to be something is what drives our efforts towards avoiding being nothing.

    The threat of which is the root to losing ourselves to the distraction of everything, when we lose hope of ever being something…to someone…but not just anyone.

    Thus, the test of gratitude enters, as we reject some in our pursuit of others, never knowing for certain the impact we have on the lives that we touch.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock


  • An Incomplete Love Story – Author’s note

    An Incomplete Love Story – Author’s note

    A note from the author for my novel, An Incomplete Love Story

    This story was inspired by true events.

    Some, my own but many based on incidents that I witnessed in the colourful domains of my life.

    It is a story of an often-overlooked community.

    Caught at the intersection of cultural pride while fighting for relevance in a rapidly evolving world, the South African Muslim Indian community is replete with prejudices from religious, political, and cultural influences.

    Good intentions rarely paved the pathway to heaven. But, understanding those intentions in the face of the carnage that the resulting actions impose on the innocents is what breathes life into a decaying soul.

    It is this that motivated me to write this novel.

    That is, my hope to draw attention towards the contamination of the good by the misguided prejudices of a sincere but deeply flawed community.

    ~ Zaid.


  • To give up silently

    To give up silently

    “When you give up on something, it becomes a weighty silence that you carry within you for the rest of your life.

    It’s a quiet acceptance that what once was the centre of your being will never be a part of your being again.

    The silence is the only gesture that will honour such loss, such surrender.

    And when anyone asks, if they even know to ask, all you can muster as a response is a sheepish grin and an involuntary shrug, hoping to appear nonchalant enough to hide the pain and the shame that you struggled with in the tortured darkness all those lonely, distraught nights.

    That’s how the light fades, and the dullness replaces the enthusiasm that once defined your spirit.

    Only, there’s no one looking close enough to notice. So your shame remains safe, and your heart, incomplete.”

    Another excerpt from the manuscript threatening to bleed out of my heart and onto the keyboard.

    From the sequel to my novel, this is a piece that may make it into my next novel titled, Taqdeer: A dance with destiny.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • This is going to hurt

    This is going to hurt

    Another excerpt from a manuscript slowly taking shape in my head. From the sequel to my novel, this is Taqdeer: A dance with destiny.

    In this scene, the main character, Zayd, once more finds himself faced with the betrayal of one close to him, but it’s not enough to deter him from remaining defiant against the odds.

    “Eventually, I get tired of dodging the bullet and instead I stand, square-shouldered, facing the onslaught with eyes wide open, my heart gently ticking away in my chest, waiting for what I always knew was inevitable. Knowing that it will hit me hard, but defiantly standing there waiting to see exactly how hard it’s going to hit.”

    Will his love story ever be completed? Or is life only ever meant to be an exercise in fulfilling duty towards those who have rights over him?

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • The twins of love and pain

    The twins of love and pain

    We see in the world around us that which occupies the most space in our hearts.

    When our hearts are filled with love and affection, we find no place for hate or bitterness.

    When we hold space in our life for justice for past oppression, we prevent that space from being filled with the love that we may receive in the present moment.

    The need for justice often overwhelms any prospect of happiness because we feel denied as long as those who caused us pain live without consequence.

    When we’re filled with the rage of revenge, or the need for justice, any approaching love or affection appears as a threat for further pain because the possibility of betrayal is still clearly etched in the pain from the past that has yet to be reconciled.

    Healing then becomes dependent on justice, and life is put on hold. That holding pattern serves as a constant reminder of the injustice that we suffered, or the betrayal that cut so deeply.

    Thus, the oppression of the past contaminates the present, and denies us a future of the very happiness we hope to experience.

    But, when our rage convinces us that love and pain are twins, the promise of peace becomes a threat, and the holding pattern of pain becomes a comfort. Thus, we become unavailable to those who love us, and remain committed to seeking vengeance against those who thrive on our misery.

  • Sometimes, our struggles need us

    Sometimes, our struggles need us

    A line that might make it into the final draft of my new novel.

    “And I think you’ll realise that the struggles of your life were not simply struggles intended for you, they were moments that were in need of only what you were capable of offering to make them better than they were.”

    This is from a scene where Zayd, the main character, tries to comfort someone he deeply admires, and loves, after she has been through a horribly abusive relationship.

    Will his ineptitude at human connections and emotional expression fail him yet again? You’ll have to read the sequel to find out.

    In the meantime, if you haven’t read the first part of this series, you can order your copy now from my website at zaidismail.com or via Amazon or Kindle.

    Taqdeer: A dance with destiny, follows on from An Incomplete Love Story, revealing the struggles of life in a dystopian culture, distorted by classism and the caste system.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • The pain of being empty

    The pain of being empty

    When we’re overcome with the pain of betrayal, or loss, our focus is often on what we no longer have, rather than the gaping hole that it left in our soul.

    We try to reconcile the events or the mysteries that led up to that moment when what we cherished was suddenly taken.

    Sometimes taken by fate, but at other times taken by force.

    We feel violated when we’re left vacant. When the space we once reserved for one we cherished was abandoned without reason, or for all the wrong reasons.

    When the reasons are easily overcome, if only they’d be willing to overcome it with us.

    When we see in them what they refuse to see in themselves.

    Or when they give up hope for what they need from fear of losing it, again. So they protect themselves from us, not because of who we are, but because of how they were betrayed before us.

    That’s when we need to sit quietly with that gaping hole and find in it the peace that absence promises. It’s a peace found in the absence of expectation, or in the presence of calm.

    But calm is elusive when we’re fighting to get back what is not ours to claim. That’s when pain sets in. That’s when the gaping hole becomes a suffocating mess, rather than a passing anguish.

    Be still, beloved. Be composed. Be at peace knowing that the best of you will never be good enough for those who are not good enough for themselves.

    Their demons are your pain only because you see the beauty that they never tasted.

    Don’t give up that beauty because of their bitter tongue. Their bitterness is theirs to savour, and yours to abandon. Breathe…

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock