-
Your perspective may be your undoing
Internal conflict is the greatest contributor to misery. And misery or stress is felt most deeply when we’re at odds with ourselves, which affects our health because of that internal conflict. It is stress that always precedes any physical ailment that forms as a chronic illness within our body. And expectations are at the core…
-
If you think you can’t, then you won’t…
Archive Post… I can’t count how often I’ve been told, “Not everyone is like you!” That comment was usually in response to me encouraging them to do better or to rise above what was troubling them. You see, the assumption that a weak person makes is that some people are gifted to be more successful…
-
Trading the future for the past
Sometimes, we lose ourselves in the struggle to build the future that we want, while forgetting that it’s a struggle because we’re still living in the past. Our expectations about what opportunities lie ahead, or what we believe we’re capable of achieving, are defined by what we believe to be true about the events that…
-
Confidently you…and only you
The question is, do you know yourself well enough to have an informed opinion of yourself? When we rely on others for more than just feedback, and instead, we allow them to validate who we are, we essentially give them the power to define how we feel about ourselves. Listening to what others think of…
-
Assumed to be inadequate
Assumptions are those things that eventually appear as facts because we’ve been making those assumptions for so long that we don’t see reason to question it any longer. It’s a theme that sets in over a long period of time, and becomes the lens through which we see the world. More importantly, it becomes the…
-
Defending myself into misery
Defensiveness is driven by a belief that you’re under attack. Hence the need to defend ourselves when someone tries to correct us. The defensive response on our part confirms that we assume their intention to be other than genuine concern for what we’re experiencing. We also assume that we must be right to feel a…
-
Collective guilt, collective malice
One of the trappings of the victim head space is that it convinces us to surround ourselves with those who will understand why we’re weak, or why we behave badly, because they themselves struggle with similar demons. Our need to avoid rejection or to feel validated causes us more harm than good. The comfort that…
-
Bitter sweet nostalgia
Nostalgia is a beautiful thing, if we connected with the joy in those moments. Otherwise, it is torturous, as we remind ourselves of what we’ve lost, while losing the present moment along with those memories. Mindfulness of the blessing of the present moment is the only way to live a fulfilled life without courting regret.…
