Ingratitude, the illegitimate child of self-loathing

When you judge yourself harshly, you lose sight of the good that you’re achieving.

That you judge yourself at all is an indulgence in breaking yourself down, rather than lifting yourself up.

That’s why those who judge themselves most, are also most dependent on others treating them well before they feel significant, even if their behaviour doesn’t warrant such fair treatment.

That’s how social validation becomes the motivator for everything that we do.

But, we’re so focused on hiding our shame of what we believe to be inadequate about ourselves that we forget that we’re hiding our shame.

We then grow to be defined by the validation that we receive for everything on the outside while losing sight of how we’re avoiding everything on the inside.

The more successful we are in gaining such ‘respect’ or validation from others, the more we become convinced that we’re right, and that anyone who points out our shortcomings must be wrong…or at the least, they must be cruel or envious, they just don’t understand us. .

When judge others by the same standard that we judge ourselves.

You must be OK with oppressing yourself first before you’ll find justification in oppressing others.

You can only give what you have.

That’s how the ones who are sincere in our growth will be taken for granted when we discard them in favour of those who are looking for validation for their ability to validate us.

Victims support each other towards being OK with being victims.

Unless you break the cycle of victim mentality, you’ll lose sight of what good you are capable of achieving, while focusing on what shame you need to pacify yourself about.

Ingratitude is the illegitimate child of self-loathing.

That’s when life feels most torturous.

It always starts with you.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism #purpose

11 responses to “Ingratitude, the illegitimate child of self-loathing”

      • Very true. If we denigrate ourselves on the flimsiest of pretext, then, God only knows what harm we are doing to ourselves. Charity begins at home should never be forgotten. If we self-loath, then, surely we are digging our own grave -contrarily, self-criticize is health criticize is ok when we want to learn from our mistakes. But there have to be a limit and beyond that it is harmful for our physical and mental growth. Thanks and regards.

      • Agree. But judging it to be positive or negative is a distraction from the impact that it has on what we are trying to achieve. We’re being judged enough by others. We need to give ourselves a break and seek to understand ourselves, rather than judge how we feel about ourselves. It’s a critical shift in perspective to move from recognising or focusing on the fact that we’re self-loathing, to understanding why we found reason to self-loathe. The latter gives us something to work with, whereas the former only reinforces what we dislike about ourselves.

      • Zaid Sahib: When you are truthful, others may say anything, from the core of your being, you are totally aware that you are on right path. Need is to know ourselves fully, everything will follow by the grace of God. But self-loathing, because some one has criticized us, hardly matters. It will not get stuck with us. We shall forget it one fine morning and we shall then be starting with a clean slate.

        Thanks and regards.

      • There is nobody who has not committed one mistake or other, in one way of other. But to pass judgement of others proves that such people showcase themselves as the perfectionists; which they cannot even in their dream for God is only ONE who is perfect. Humans are humans – prone to mistakes. Therefore, self-loathing, simply because somebody passes judgement on you cuts no ice. If you think you have have not done any harm or committed no mistaken then you know it and our Creator knows fully well then no problems; we pass the litmus test of reality and truthfulness.


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