Defending myself into misery

Defensiveness is driven by a belief that you’re under attack.

Hence the need to defend ourselves when someone tries to correct us.

The defensive response on our part confirms that we assume their intention to be other than genuine concern for what we’re experiencing.

We also assume that we must be right to feel a certain way, and therefore shut down any opportunity to understand why someone’s hurtful or offensive behaviour may be a reaction to their own emotional duress.

We don’t justify it, but it makes it easier to understand it and respond more effectively to it if we pause to understand the real reason for it.

The most common reason for feeling emotional is fear.

In various forms, it is the fear of loss, or the fear of being insignificant that causes emotional duress.

Therefore, when we choose to honour our emotions above all else, we’re in fact honouring that fear and preventing ourselves from understanding and undoing the grip that it has on us.

We’re human. So we don’t expect to never get emotional.

What’s important though is how long does it take us to regain our composure after feeling the emotional impact of an experience, rather than not feeling emotions at all.

Be careful about losing your sense of self to your emotions, and then insisting that the emotional state is simply who you are.

Moderation in everything.

#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #ownyourlife #theegosystem #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness

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