Tag: gbv

  • Do you practice self-serving justice?

    Do you practice self-serving justice?

    The matter of justice doesn’t only apply to matters of criminal behaviour or social conduct, but it’s especially true for how we conduct ourselves within our family units.

    It’s the injustices that we experience within our families that result in the misconduct that we express in our lives.

    That injustice doesn’t always feel like a blatant abuse. Often, it’s a subtle avoidance of doing what’s right, or speaking out against family norms that are harmful to some.

    When we benefit from such injustice, we find it acceptable, or at least defensible, to remain silent.

    The way we benefit from it includes enjoying the inclusion or sense of belonging to the family unit.

    It includes winning favour with he heads of the family, or earning our place at the table of the family business, or even securing our inheritance.

    That’s when we become party to the injustice that affects even us, but from places that we assume to be detached from our family unit.

    Injustice in the home is the root of injustice in this world.

    First do right by your own before you go out into the world to do right by others.

    This is not charity. It is justice in its truest form.

  • Own your demons

    Own your demons

    When faced with the brutal aggression or harshness from another, it’s easy to convince ourselves that they treat us that way because of how they feel about us.

    Unless we’ve done something to specifically provoke them by treating them in a way that undermines their dignity or the trust that they placed in us, their behaviour is not because of who we are to them, but rather because of what we represent from their past.

    The victim rarely expresses their rage at an overwhelming aggressor, so such rage builds up until they find a safe space in which to release it.

    That safe space is someone who they can control or subdue. Someone who reminds them of their inadequacy which sends them into a blind rage to want to protect themselves from ever feeling inadequate again.

    Because that’s what anger is. That’s what rage does. It’s a defence against being vulnerable, or feeling abused, neglected, or taken for granted.

    Recognising these signs in others will save you the anguish of questioning your self worth, and more importantly, it will save others from becoming the outlet of the rage that builds up within you because of the ill treatment that you received at the hands of someone else’s demons.

    Break the cycle, beloved. Breathe. Take stock. And reclaim your voice that was surrendered to the angry battles that were not of your doing.

    If you’re struggling to reconcile your experiences at the hands of a troubled soul, or if you’re trying to understand the source of the rage that threatens to destroy everything good in your life, reach out and let’s work through it together.

    Contact me via WhatsApp on +27836599183 or via my website at zaidismail.com and together we can create the life that you’ve always wanted.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Rocks don’t bleed

    Rocks don’t bleed

    Sometimes your tears are a mourning of what was, and at other times it’s a yearning for what could have been.

    More than this, it’s a path to the gentleness of your soul that is oppressed by the trials of life.

    When your heart stops yearning for what was, or what you wish could be different, your tears begin to forge a new path. A path towards the hope that you struggle to subdue.

    Just like rocks do not bleed, a hardened heart cannot cry. Beloved, take joy from the gentleness that you still possess despite the horrors of your past.

    Any bitterness that we court denies us the joy that we deserve, and any joy that we court denies them the bitterness that they hoped to share.

    Their bitterness is their heritage of a trial that is not yours to bear.

    Breathe, beloved. Breathe. And know that your tears, if shed for them, holds no value for a hardened heart.

    If tears must flow, let it flow to forge new paths of joy to replace the failed hopes of the past. But celebrate your tears as testament to the beauty of your soul, and not as regrets for having invested in a heart that was closed to joy.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock