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Understand before you judge harshly

Before you get upset with someone for not treating you the way that you want them to treat you, consider that what you need may not come naturally to them.

Without meaning to, we oppress others when we assume that just because we’re capable of something, they should be too.

This is especially true when it comes to emotional expression.

How emotionally expressive we are is directly related to how emotionally accessible our parents were to us during our childhood.

And no, not all siblings in the same household have the same experience, because not all parents treat their children equally.

So when we look at the behaviour of our adult partners and we compare them either to ourselves or to their siblings or other family members, we’re dismissing their specific life experience, while insisting that they be like everyone else around them.

Emotions cannot be sincerely and authentically expressed if it was never received in that way.

How it’s received – again – is relative to how emotionally grounded our past experiences may have been.

When you’re not getting the kind of emotional availability that you need from your partner, consider that it’s something that they may just not be connecting with because they’ve never experienced it in a safe and fulfilling way themselves.

And just because you’re expressing it to them now doesn’t mean that it suddenly changes it. It doesn’t, because your expectation of them to reciprocate makes that setting an emotionally vulnerable space for them.

Create an emotionally safe space for your partner before you judge them for being insensitive or cold, or else you may destroy their love for you just because they couldn’t express it the way that you wanted them to.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism #purpose #companionship #compassion #relationshipgoals

Zaid Ismail

Author, life coach, and mental health activist. We need to change the narrative from disorders, illnesses, and survival to accountability, understanding, and thriving.

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