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Home breakers

Those who live with the expectation of receiving what they need, rather than putting in the effort to create it with their own heart and hands, will take for granted that which others have exhausted themselves building.

Like a home. There are too many who expect to feel at home because of their material contribution, but don’t know what it takes to create that homely feeling.

Providing the house doesn’t make it a home. Nor does cleaning the house make it a home.

Buying the groceries doesn’t make an endearing family meal. Nor does cooking it.

What connects our efforts with the hearts of those around us is not in the material or dutiful contribution that we make. It’s in the love and appreciation that accompanies how we treat ourselves and them, that connects our hearts and creates a home.

Those who were raised in an environment where their responsibility was more important than their emotional needs will find it easier to judge the quality of their relationships based on what they get from it, rather than how they’re loved or appreciated.

True love and appreciation will automatically result in wanting to create that homely feeling, or that endearing family meal.

Without that love and appreciation, love becomes a transaction, and a check list of things to do so that we avoid blame when things go wrong.

The better we are at that check list, the more we believe we’re truly loving and appreciating life. Until we stop getting what we need.

But, as always, you can’t give what you don’t have.

If you treat yourself like a commodity, your affection for others will be based on the fear of not having them around, or not getting what you need from them.

Who they are and what they need will not feature at all. Sadly, you probably won’t even be aware of it when you’re in that state.

That’s why self awareness is so important. Because it always, always starts with you.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism #purpose #fatherhood #motherhood #parenting #relationshipgoals

Zaid Ismail

Author, life coach, and mental health activist. We need to change the narrative from disorders, illnesses, and survival to accountability, understanding, and thriving.

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