Tag: companionship

  • Hopeless dreams

    Hopeless dreams

    A dream without hope taunts us more than it comforts us.

    It teases us with its distraction while we indulge in it, but reminds us that we believe we’re unworthy of it when we cast our gaze once more towards reality.

    When we believe in our dream, we’ll find the signs and the opportunities to map our path towards achieving that dream.

    But when we believe that our dream is unreachable or unrealistic, we’ll focus on everything that points towards a struggle, an obstacle, or an assumed impossibility in our desire to achieve it.

    That’s how we harm ourselves. We convince ourselves that the good that we yearn for is out of reach. Or worse, we convince ourselves that we are undeserving of it.

    If only we paused for long enough…took a deep breath…and realised that there are experiences we had in life that we never thought possible, but they came to pass anyway. Despite us not believing that they would.

    Those are the experiences that inspired us to dream. And those dreams that they inspired are our truths that we know is possible if only…

    Breathe beloved, and change that ‘if only’ into ‘when’, so that the dream that fills your heart in the quiet moments may find space in your life in your daylight hours.

    Just breathe…

  • Don’t deny your heart

    Don’t deny your heart

    Silence can never render the heart’s true yearnings irrelevant or obsolete…it only makes it more torturous until fulfilled…if ever

    The heart’s true yearnings slowly morph into unfulfilled moments of angst that are beyond explanation or reason

    Sleep soon escapes us as we try to busy ourselves with the urgencies of life in our efforts to distract us from that gaping void

    A void that can only be filled by responding to the yearning of the heart

    But whose yearning we’d much rather suppress than to risk hurting a tender heart more than its current pain

    Once battered, trust is abandoned

    The heart then becomes a slave to its yearnings while being shackled to its grief

    Breathe beloved, breathe…just breathe…and allow your heart to muster courage that escapes your will.


  • True love is never lost

    True love is never lost

    Fate has a way of giving us what we ask for when we don’t realise we’re asking for it.

    It is the yearnings of the soul that calls out to the heavens, while our mouths utter pleas that are born of the distractions of needs.

    Needs are ephemeral. They pass through us like the passing of fluids through the loins of beasts.

    Denial of such needs leads to anger, and anger betrays the soul.

    The yearnings of the soul prevail beyond such fickle expression.

    It is in the infinity of true love that the soul finds peace.

    Whatever ends, is therefore not true to love or to the soul. It is not what physical bond we may maintain that defines such love.

    Such a love is defined by the pulse of the soul that continues to beat, eternally rhythmically, for the same soul that set it alight and inspired its beautiful rhythm.

  • A walk…and a bit

    A walk…and a bit

    I stepped on the treadmill today. It’s not my favourite pastime, but I did it anyway. At first, I recalled the time, many years ago, when I first attempted it and found myself winded in less than 3 minutes. I was still working in corporate. Life was lifeless, and purpose was found in servitude.

    I travelled a lot since then. Mostly business travel. Staring down at the footplate of the treadmill, I found myself walking those streets again. The back roads of Nice, a short throw from the plush touristy area, the plaster was flaking off the walls of the apartment buildings, and the empty plots were unkempt and overgrown with weeds.

    Then the cramped sidewalks of London, with its scarcity of smiles and less warmth to offer than its weather. I walked quietly through the neighbourhoods, distant from the bustling centre of wealth, and saw hints of warm homes and affectionately adorned window sills. The cold mist reminded me of my estranged nature in such scenes.

    The quiet, unnatural streets of Jubail crept into view next, with fallen, premature dates melted and smeared into the sidewalk, and the mocking smiles from the police officers revealing their revolting oral hygiene. The thick air, laden with humidity and a scorching breeze choking me up as the treadmill continued its whine as I journeyed my way to the next city.

    Tunis, with a touch of warmth, an uncanny sense of safety, and humility in large doses, prompted a hint of a smile as I recalled strange encounters with strange people. The trip on the metro passing Mandela’s stop, and the beautiful voices of the children singing their songs in Arabic each morning as I waited for the train to arrive. Probably the only wistful recollection of my time there.

    The walk to China Town in Singapore, or to the Indian quarters, clinically clean and oddly cold. Buddhist temples and expensive shopping malls crowding all the open spaces, and cliques of old folks line dancing in the parks without a hint of interest in the rhythm to which they danced. Everything so detached and robotic, as if celebrating the privilege but disconnected from the experience.

    And of course, traipsing the steps and the hills and tunnels of Monaco. Walking the length and course of the grand prix circuit, delighting myself like a little child as I recognised the bends and the straights from my hours on the PlayStation. But just as soon, the delight would fade to a subdued smile, and then nothing. Just a sigh.

    You’re never lonely if you like the one you’re alone with, or so they say. So they say. An hour later, still barely exhausted from the spirited walk through my daydreams, duty interrupted my moments in foreign cities, each echoing the solitary nature of my life, and the isolation of my spirit. The photos and stories shared with others later on never compensated for the absence of one to share it with.

    But, peace comes slowly and silently when we learn to embrace the inevitability of our lives, rather than yearning for what never was despite our best efforts. The sweat pouring down my face stung my eyes a little more than the subdued tears, as I realised the futility of tears that are left to dry on their own.

    It was a long walk on that treadmill today. But there are still many streets to explore in stillness and isolation. Wanderlust has departed, and in its place it left a quiet composure of knowing that nothing more should be expected of what lies ahead. The weariness is finding its home in the same alcoves that were just recently filled with more. But it is an alcove and not a treasure chest. What visited briefly never intended to stay.

    Thus, expectations are recalibrated, and life…life remains a stranger that prefers the company of others. Exhale.

  • Don’t sell yourself short

    Don’t sell yourself short

    When you surrender your principles in exchange for affection, you give others permission to demand compromises rather than create understanding.

    Worse than this, when you make such a compromise, you undermine your worth in the relationship by giving up what you believe in, not because you changed your beliefs, but because you wanted to be accepted.

    Instead of upholding your truth, you settle for inclusion by those who don’t subscribe to your truth.

    After some time, when the price of that inclusion begins to take its toll, you’ll find yourself adrift without your principles to anchor you, and with the realisation that they never really accepted you in the first place.

    How could they if you didn’t reveal to them the truth of who you were?

    That’s when life feels empty or burdensome, and anger becomes the tool through which we demand our significance in those relationships because we were hoping that at some point they would see our sacrifice and appreciate us for it, only to discover that our sacrifice was never important to begin with.

    That anger is not always directed at those who didn’t appreciate us. Often, it’s directed at ourselves for not being good enough.

    Think carefully before you compromise who you are just so that you can fit in. Every compromise comes at a cost. Be sure that you’re willing to pay the cost before you lose yourself in the process.

  • Poetry of old

    Poetry of old

    “Poetry often belies the age of the poet,

    but always reveals the struggles of the soul.

    What we write of youth, applies to old.

    But most would rather resist it,

    Than bear the truth be told.

    I’m in love with life.

    But I hate the world.”

    It’s possible to live life romantically, you know. Despite the horrors and pain that appear to be so pervasive in this world, perhaps romance is the ultimate rebellion against the cruelty of life.

    Perhaps.

    This is something that I wrote a few years ago, it still accurately describes my conflicted relationship with this world.

    What you take from this, be it pessimistic, optimistic, or simply cynical, is a reflection of who you are and what your current relationship is with your world.

    Yet, most will read into this what they believe to be true about me, not realising that what we see in others is a reflection of what we are hopeful, grateful, or bitter about in that moment.

    How connected are you with your relationship with the world around you?

  • Understanding misunderstanding

    Understanding misunderstanding

    When we find that, despite our sincerest efforts, we continue to be misunderstood, consider that perhaps we need to focus on understanding instead.

    Understanding becomes difficult when we’re gripped with the desperation of needing others to understand how important something is to us.

    That desperation is often driven by fear, or self pity, rather than conviction. And it’s fed by a belief that they simply don’t realise how important it is.

    If we’re not careful, this is how we become the architects of our own misery, or the result of our own self-fulfilling prophecy.

    The greater our emotional investment, the more likely we are to contaminate that space with fear or self pity.

    Creating space for understanding is the most important thing you can do to avoid a potential lifetime of regret.

  • In celebration of women

    In celebration of women

    On this Women’s Day, here’s a message to the men out there.

    If you have that special someone to share this day with, consider yourself blessed. Women don’t love selflessly unless they commit fully.

    If their passion scares you, don’t grow defensive or feel threatened. Draw strength from them. They see in you what you don’t see in yourself.

    They see you beyond the failures of your past, or your feelings of inadequacy in your role as a father, brother, son, or husband.

    When they inspire you to be more than you are, it’s not because they think you’re not good enough. It’s because they believe that you’re worth so much more. And they want you to be all you can be.

    It’s not weakness to show your heart to her. Weakness is found in protecting yourself from being discovered because you are afraid of not being good enough.

    When you protect yourself from rejection, you deny yourself growth. When you deny yourself growth, you deny yourself the fulfilment of embracing the very love and companionship that you desire in life.

    A woman is driven innately to nurture, and nurturing automatically inspires growth. So perhaps the tension between you and your partner is because she sees how much more you can be together, and you’re afraid to embrace that reality from fear of not being able to make the cut.

    I know of men that would kill a bull to be in your position. And if you find it difficult to understand her, try to understand the men she had in her life before you. Including her father, or other male figures. The ones who treated her badly, or denied her a voice.

    The sad reality is that there are a few good men who have to bear the burden of the many who have lost themselves to the ego of society.

    I hope you choose to be part of the few. If you choose this, you will have the best of what this world has to offer by way of companionship and fulfilment of purpose.

    To love, without restraint, and to be loved in return, is the greatest gift. Don’t deny yourself this gift by protecting yourself from a weakness that only you believe in.

    And to the women, don’t stop believing in yourself. But recognise that when you judge a man by the standard of those who came before him, you have yet to fully heal from the harshness of your past. Don’t make a good man bad by holding him accountable for something that he had no part in.

    And men…don’t make a good woman bad by expecting her to make up for the gentleness and compassion that you were denied by those who came before her. Including your parents.

    Cherish each other…and gaze upon each other in the same way that you want to be seen. Anything less is an injustice to your soul, and to the beauty that is waiting to bloom between you and your partner.

    Have a blessed Women’s Day.

    Zaid Ismail
    Author | Life Coach

    #womensday2020

    https://youtu.be/ZYRfUoR9Q4Y