Our consideration of trust is often limited to promises or follow through on something that was clearly agreed with another.
However, trust is broken in many ways, most of which are subtle and often unintended.
It’s these subtle breaches that leave us seething with anger or raging with tears while not knowing how to connect the betrayal that we feel with the specific conduct of another.
More than this, it also makes it that much more difficult to express ourselves clearly when they seem oblivious to the hurt or offence that they cause.
Connecting with why we feel betrayed makes it possible to process those feelings of betrayal in a more constructive way, and allows us to diminish the impact that it has on our sense of self.
Once we can reconcile in our minds what it is that drives us insane about the behaviour from those closest to us, it makes it easier to see their shortcomings as a reflection of who they are, rather than always assuming that they may take us for granted because of who we are.
That clarity of understanding and perspective could mean the difference between a life of angst and self-loathing, versus one of understanding and purposeful investment in those relationships that mean the most to you.
You cannot help those around you to slay their demons if you’re bringing your demons to the table.
Here are 9 not-so-obvious ways in high we may be breaching the trust that others place in us :
1. Remaining silent when your words could have provided comfort or support
2. Deliberately avoiding a request for something that you know is important to someone
3. Withholding affection when you know it’s needed
4. Deliberately doing something that you know is offensive or hurtful to another
5. Being dishonest when relating your story, or withholding part of a story to avoid conflict or accountability
6. Being unnecessarily harsh without apologising for your conduct (or regularly repeating this behaviour after apologising each time)
7. Treating your obligations or commitments as optional or subject to your convenience
8. Demanding your rights from others but ignoring your responsibilities towards them
9. Dismissing the contribution that others make towards your life
It always starts with you.
Own Your Life.
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