Without realising it, expectations create an underlying sense of entitlement regarding the outcomes that we want.
That entitlement is what influences our attitude and demeanour in how we approach things or relationships.
When we feel justified to have such expectations, we lose sight of the entitlement, which leads to the intensity of emotion that we experience when our expectations are not met.
That intensity of emotion is the sense of betrayal that we feel because entitlement is based on an assumed trust between us and the person who we believe was supposed to show up for us.
Problem is, most times, that expectation is in our heads and is unknown to the ones around us.
Sometimes we communicate it, but most times we don’t.
We need to trust the sincerity behind what significant others do for us, that’s why we are unlikely to tell them specifically what we need from them for two reasons.
Firstly, once we ask for something, we don’t know if they’re doing it out of obligation, or sincerity.
And secondly, we don’t want to appear needy or vulnerable, assuming that we’re even aware of the expectations that we have of them.
Mindfulness is key to healthy relationships. And healthy relationships are ones in which we can trust each other with our expectations of what’s important to us, without feeling like an imposition on the other.
How healthy are your relationships? And more importantly, how healthy is your relationship with yourself?
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Betrayed expectations
