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Reclaim you

There is a belief that a hug fixes everything.

It doesn’t.

There are times when a hug loses its comfort or its safety because it comes from the very source that keeps causing that pain.

Words spoken in anger always cut deeper than any hug can reach.

In such cases, a hug is like an apology.

It is a plea for forgiveness or an agreement to stop the hostility, but without substance in changed behaviour, it becomes hurtful in its own way.

A hug from the one who is causing us pain, when they don’t recognise or acknowledge the pain that they’re causing, further intensifies the pain of being with them, or of being invisible to them.

Without realising it, we become so focused on that pain that we lose sight of how we end up trading our self-worth for the hope of receiving their kindness.

Sometimes, if we’re beyond needing their kindness, we trade our self-worth for the need for vengeance or retribution so that they can feel how they made us feel.

Either way, when we focus on the pain, we lose ourselves to the experience, and become caught up in the cycle of pain that caused them to treat us badly in the first place.

In that realisation lies the opportunity for healing, and for peace.

Reconnect with your self-worth, fed your past will cease to define your future.

It always starts with you.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism #purpose #companionship #compassion #relationshipgoals

Zaid Ismail

Author, life coach, and mental health activist. We need to change the narrative from disorders, illnesses, and survival to accountability, understanding, and thriving.

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