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Know why, or else…

I often have to remind myself that it is not the disregard that others show for what I do that matters, it is my need for them to show regard for what I do that distracts me when they are uninterested or condescending.

Similarly, it’s not the disrespect, or the lack of affection that gets us down, it’s the knowledge that we trusted someone with our need, while they chose not to honour our need, that hurts us.

The hurt often distracts us towards fighting for our needs to be honoured, or our trust to be appreciated, while distracting us from two key things.

We gave trust because we have it to give, and can therefore retract it at will rather than waiting for it to be returned.

And, we offered of ourselves to someone who themselves may not have the same to offer in return.

The choice on how to proceed from that point of realisation is dependent on how much value we place in that relationship, and in that need that we have from them.

Recognising these differences could be the difference between abandoning a relationship for the wrong reasons, or staying in it for the wrong reasons.

The right thing to do only comes to us when we understand why something feels wrong.

Otherwise we end up raging or feeling despondent without knowing why, and then wait for the world to make us feel better about ourselves.

If you make big decisions without understanding why you feel compelled to make such decisions, you will find a lot of regret awaiting you on your path through life.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism #purpose #companionship #compassion #relationshipgoals

Zaid Ismail

Author, life coach, and mental health activist. We need to change the narrative from disorders, illnesses, and survival to accountability, understanding, and thriving.

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