You are currently viewing Understand. Then accept. Then forgive.

Understand. Then accept. Then forgive.

I see so many who claim to have forgiven, but are still weighed down by what was done to them.

There’s an important difference between forgiving as a means to forego punishing someone or demanding retribution, versus forgiving because you truly understand why someone behaved badly.

When that understanding is lacking, it makes it impossible to accept what they did, because we’ll never be able to reconcile why they did it.

Without understanding why, acceptance becomes superficial, and forgiveness becomes a token gesture.

Forgive and forget is a great notion of noble intent that often lacks any true resolution or peace.

If you want that forgiveness to carry with it the promise of peace beyond that experience, you must seek to understand, without judgement, why someone treated you badly, or committed a dastardly deed.

It’s through that understanding that we’ll discover that their actions were more about their demons, than it was about how they felt about us.

If our sense of significance or self-worth was defined by their validation of who we are, even understanding won’t give us that peace.

But, that’s on us. Not on them. We’re responsible for how we feel about ourselves. And no amount of forgiveness will change that.

It always starts with you.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism #purpose

Zaid Ismail

Author, life coach, and mental health activist. We need to change the narrative from disorders, illnesses, and survival to accountability, understanding, and thriving.

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