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Redirected rage
Our self-worth defines our behaviour in moments when we feel most unappreciated. Whether a toddler, a teen, or an adult, we are provoked towards anger and bad behaviour when we feel taken for granted or irrelevant to those who matter to us. It doesn’t mean that they must treat us badly. It could be as…
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You cannot make them rise
I’ve seen, and experienced first hand, the disaster that awaits when we convince ourselves that the demons that others deal with is our responsibility to resolve. Being kind, compassionate, and even understanding does not mean that we must own the decisions that others have made, especially when those decisions include them choosing to hold on…
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The past sucks eggs
Life sucks when we take our experiences with others from the past and project it onto the relationship that we have with someone in our present. Sadly, this applies to all relationships, not just marriage or romantic partnerships. It applies to the parent-child relationship as much as it applies to spouses. Especially in times when…
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You cannot not have expectations
The advice to live life without expectations to avoid disappointment is disturbingly misleading. If you’re striving to achieve this state of having no expectations of anyone, please stop. When we convince ourselves that we should not expect anything from others, we also have to convince ourselves that they should not expect anything from us. If…
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A peaceful fight
Insanity is subjective. So is truth. The less we remember this, the more likely it is that we will oppress. To pass judgement without understanding reflects our insanity. To restrain judgement until we reach understanding reflects our search for truth. These two positions define the efforts of our days and the contemplations of our nights.…
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The meandering twists of fate
Betrayal is not always a result of harsh words, lies, or cruel action. We’re often so focused on what we’re not getting from others, that we don’t pause to consider what they may not be getting from us either. The deepest cuts are those that are inflicted when we trust someone to be there, but…
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The demon child of ingratitude
Disrespect only ever becomes an option when we disrespect ourselves. We don’t always disrespect ourselves because life is fluid, demanding different things from us at different times. In those moments when we are expected to be more than we believe we’re capable of, or when we are corrected for something that we do because we…
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Embrace your demons
Relationships fail when the demons of both don’t play nicely with each other. But demons are not so easy to recognise. What feels like a right or a legitimate expectation is often underpinned by a demon from the past when those rights were denied, or those expectations dismissed. Our innate need to be of significance…
