You are currently viewing Don’t test the ones you love. Love them.

Don’t test the ones you love. Love them.

Ever find that despite your best efforts, someone close to you just never appreciates what you do for them?

Ever feel like you’re having to fulfil their expectations in detail about how to do something the way that they want you to do it before they are satisfied with you?

Even then, when you do that thing exactly the way they wanted you to, they then question your sincerity.

“You only did it because I asked you to!”

Does that sound familiar?

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

The reason that they treat us that way, or even why we may treat others in that way is not because we’re questioning their sincerity, it’s because we doubt our significance to them.

When we feel insignificant, we test others, often in passive aggressive ways, to see if we’re really important to them.

The only reason we test them is because we don’t appreciate them. And then we hold them responsible for how we don’t appreciate ourselves either. That’s why we test them.

When we look for kindness to be packaged in a specific way, we lose sight of the kindness or affection that they offer of their own accord, in their own way.

When we expect others to express their appreciation, or affection towards us in a specific way, we not only diminish who they are, we also show ingratitude for their sincere efforts towards us.

Then, when they pull away because they feel unappreciated, or taken for granted, or worse, because they feel invisible, we convince ourselves that we were right about their insincerity to begin with.

Self-loathing is the root of most relationship problems.

Don’t hold your partner or significant others responsible for how you feel about yourself.

If you don’t appreciate who you are, you give others permission to take you for granted.

It always starts with you.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism #purpose

Zaid Ismail

Author, life coach, and mental health activist. We need to change the narrative from disorders, illnesses, and survival to accountability, understanding, and thriving.

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