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What are you really waiting for?

In order to know what’s not right, you need to know what right would look like.

Or feel like.

Or taste like.

Just because you don’t know how to make it right, doesn’t mean you have to accept and live with what’s wrong.

But sitting back and growing frustrated at your condition without trusting yourself to know that it can or must be better is a self-imposed constraint over your happiness.

Think of your life as your favourite meal.

Eventually, as life happens, the free who prepared that meal for you leaves your life, or you leave theirs.

But, your new partner doesn’t know how, for example, your mom or dad, used to prepare that meal for you, so they try their best to make it the way that you like it.

Despite their best efforts, they just don’t get it right.

At that point, you have some choices to make:
1. Blame them for not doing enough
2. Understand that they can’t recreate something if they don’t have the knowledge or abilities to do so
3. Accept that your favourite meal cannot be recreated, so you need to discover a new favourite
4. Work with them in trying to figure out how to create it, so that together, you can once more create what you once loved

If you choose 4, you will also be creating space for you and your partner to discover something beautiful together.

You’ll have less reason to blame them for being inadequate, and more reason to play an active part in creating your joy with them, rather than holding them responsible for creating it for you.

The most important point being that we must avoid the assumption that if someone isn’t doing what we told them we want or need from them, that they’re withholding it out of spite or selfishness, when the truth is more likely to be that they honestly don’t know how because they didn’t have in their life what we had in ours.

This is how we begin to create space for new joy in our life, instead of wasting life away while lamenting the loss of what we once had.

#selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #goals #theegosystem #justbeyou #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #problemsolving #lifecoaching #zaidismail

Zaid Ismail

Author, life coach, and mental health activist. We need to change the narrative from disorders, illnesses, and survival to accountability, understanding, and thriving.

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