Category: Appreciation

  • Selflessly selfish

    Selflessly selfish

    We’re only as selfless as our need to serve.

    But our need to serve is the greatest form of selfishness that we can offer the world.

    We’ve heard it all before. There is nothing so selfless that it is not selfish.

    We serve our ego when we serve others.

    Or perhaps the one that connects the most is that we need validation for our goodness, and that’s why we give of ourselves.

    Either way, we wouldn’t offer ourselves to others if we didn’t believe that we had something of value to share with them.

    Similarly, we wouldn’t want to share something of value if there wasn’t a part of us that wanted to see them benefit from that value that we may be able to create for them.

    Let our selfishness be our need to serve others. Even if our ego is stroked in the process, let it not be stroked at the expense of their dignity, and let us not be fulfilled at the expense of our humility.

    And never let self doubt prevent you from sharing the unique gift of who you are with the world.

  • Choose your reality

    Choose your reality

    When our circumstances appear unchangeable, we must change our perspective. If we don’t, neither will change.

    Perception shapes our reality, because we can always create an alternate reality, but we can never change reality itself.

    When we look at something and feel overwhelmed by it, we generally find ourselves choosing between two things.

    We either try to find someone to blame for it and hope that we’ll be miraculously saved in the process, or we’ll try to understand it better so that we can identify a way to overcome it.

    The former is a victim mindset. The latter is simply being sensible.

    We need more sensible people. And sensible people are those who are aware of their contribution towards the outcomes that they experience in life.

    Sensibility starts with self awareness, and emotional mindfulness is at the heart of it all.

    #21daystolive #coronavirusmemes

  • Why gratitude is all that matters

    Why gratitude is all that matters

    Gratitude speaks more to our soul than any gift or trinket, or whispers of endearment.

    Gratitude is impossible without respect,
    and respect is impossible without honesty,
    and honesty is impossible without sincerity.

    And so it continues until we realise that expecting gratitude or appreciation from someone that lacks any of these fundamental traits in their character is an exercise in futility.

    We cannot give what we don’t have.

    We can therefore not be grateful of others if we lack gratitude for ourselves.

  • Sincere advisors

    Sincere advisors

    Cherish those who hold you to a higher standard, not those who pacify you when you’re wrong.

    Of the rarest of creation, I believe, must be the sincere advisor.

    If you find one, cherish them, because their commitment is to your upliftment, and not to their own ego.

    Photo Credit : Naadirah Ismail

  • Hopelessly hopeful

    In all the times that hope seemed to escape me, I realised that it was not because the future held no hope. It was because I had given up hope of being able to participate meaningfully in that future.

    I’ve often believed that it’s not depression that exists, but instead, it is hopelessness. It is the absence of hope, or the absence of our belief in hope, that gives us reason to feel deflated about the future. Yet we focus so much on the depression, that we don’t consider putting effort into restoring hope.

    It would be simple if we weren’t invested in the present moment, or the current place, or the relationships that we cherish. The world is larger than any life we could ever live, yet we willingly forego the possibility of finding joy somewhere other than where we are.

    Have we convinced ourselves that success is only relevant when shared with those that we hold significant? What if they don’t return that sentiment? Does that render us unsuccessful? Or any less valuable? Why then, do we hold on to the need to get the right response from the right person at the right time before we are willing to embrace hope?

    I often toyed with the idea of being a merchant of hope. One who sells the value of moving beyond where we are, so that we allow ourselves to be recipients of beauty from those who do not hold within them the bitterness of our past. Perhaps we stay because we court the idea of being able to guide them back to joy, and in so doing, place the hope of our joy in them finding theirs? Or convincing them to see the joy in us beyond what they’ve grown to know.

    Joy is cheap if not shared. Eventually, even uplifting others loses its sparkle if inclusion in their joy feels unreachable. It’s that feeling, that deeply seated desire to be instrumental in the joy experienced by another, but also being recognised and appreciated by them for creating such joy that perhaps, keeps us rooted to the pursuit of an outcome that may torment us in the present, but elevate us in the future.

    The hopelessness of hope lies in the truth that hope, even when deliberately abandoned, never leaves. It never abandons us, despite the intensity of our efforts to abandon it. And, I think, it is in that tenacity of hope itself, that the ego is frustrated because even in this effort towards hopelessness it finds it impossible to attain success.

  • Trappings of Entitlement

    Trappings of Entitlement

    Ingratitude seeps in when you look for evidence of deliberate kindness despite there being no evidence of cruelty from others. We’re so conditioned to find goodness against the backdrop of evil, or generosity in the midst of selfishness, that we’ve grown to believe that only the evidence of deliberate kindness is an indication of care or concern from others.

    Most often, it’s the restraint of anger or the withholding of harshness that is more evident of the kindness that lurks beneath, because it means that someone in an anguished state still recognises your worth enough not to dump their harshness onto you.

    When we feel entitled to overt expressions of kindness, we automatically take for granted all the servitude that we receive without complaint or expectation of reciprocation. Being mindful of the small things always reveals the bigger things that we should value. Be mindful of your blessings.

    [This is deeper than I realised]

  • The absence of gratitude

    The absence of gratitude

    It’s easier to assume that someone is ungrateful rather than to invest time in discovering what it is that distracts them. If we work with the assumption (if not the truth) that one is in search of the same joy and peace that we are, seeking to understand each other will be easier than wanting to judge each other.

    The absence of gratitude is not always ingratitude. Often it’s a distraction. Like looking at the dark clouds instead of appreciating the rain. The distractions are what take us off our desired path in life when we place significance on things that are out of our control, or not as consequential as we believe it is. That’s when we find ourselves persisting in righting seeming wrongs, or defending imaginary attacks. The most effective strategy, I’ve found, to combat this is to seek understanding rather than assuming judgement. The more we understand, the less we judge. This does not mean that we condone or justify, it simply means that we seek to understand so that we may be able to accept with peace, rather than surrender with bitterness or regret.

  • In search of home

    In search of home

    Gratitude lays the foundation of the home.

    Respect builds its walls.

    Love and compassion provides the roof that protects you from the storm.

    And passion gives you the windows to allow your soul to breathe.

    As for faith…faith is the door that opens the path to all of it.

    Virtues have limited effect or value if practiced in isolation. It sometimes has a detrimental effect when one is practiced in excess compared to the others. Balance, as always, is what leads to harmony, and harmony is the throne on which peace resides.

    Find your balance. Find your peace.