Holding on to bitterness for a past betrayal is like drinking poison and hoping that your betrayer will die.
Bitterness eats away at your peace while you hope that the intensity of your bitterness will somehow influence the karma of the person who treated you poorly.
If you had that much power, you’d have been able to enforce justice with them already.
The longer you hold on to the bitterness, the more harm you cause for yourself more than any harm that they may have imposed on you.
When you fixate on your reasons to feel bitter, you prevent yourself from considering whether your assumptions about their intentions or motives are true.
You also prevent yourself from seeing the impact of your bitterness on those around you who had nothing to do with that betrayal or hurt caused by someone else.
Sometimes people betray trust because their own fears are stronger than their convictions, and not necessarily because they deliberately wanted to use or hurt you.
Anger in the face of betrayal, even hurt, is understandable.
But just because it is understandable doesn’t mean it’s good for you.
Own how you feel.
Understand what you can do to handle such situations better in future.
Move on.
Life awaits.
#peace #bittersweet #bitterness #selfworth #selfawareness #selflove #selfloathing #selfharm #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #justice #remorse #brokenheart #coachzaidismail #ownyourlife
Tag: justice
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A bitter end
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Hypocrisy destroys you
Avoiding the truth to avoid responsibility is an exercise in hypocrisy.
Supporting oppression to avoid the loss of privilege is an exercise in hypocrisy.
Hypocrisy harms the hypocrite more than it ever harms others.
The ones who experience such hypocrisy can still act against it, and can champion a cause to resist it.
The hypocrite, however, loses their soul and every ounce of their humanity when they stubbornly persist in their hypocrisy.
Not only does this deny them fulfilment or peace, it also destroys everything of value that makes their lives worth living, or their struggles worth enduring.
Thus the bitter are the most hypocritical, and the most hypocritical at the most oppressive among us.
Rationalising their hypocrisy to convince them otherwise is a futile exercise.
Instead, we must reject their assertions that are blatantly erroneous or contemptable, so that we don’t exhaust ourselves in their deliberate attempts at distraction from the truth, while the cause of justice suffers from our lack of focus.
It only gets complicated when we are unwilling to take a stand for what is uncomfortable or for what threatens the comfort of our existence.
Tyranny prevails when the masses value their so-called quality of life over their dignity and their humanity.
#justice #oppression #watermelon #palestine #genocide #gaza #icj #mentalhealth #integrity #selfworth #authenticity #zaidismail
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Do you practice self-serving justice?
The matter of justice doesn’t only apply to matters of criminal behaviour or social conduct, but it’s especially true for how we conduct ourselves within our family units.
It’s the injustices that we experience within our families that result in the misconduct that we express in our lives.
That injustice doesn’t always feel like a blatant abuse. Often, it’s a subtle avoidance of doing what’s right, or speaking out against family norms that are harmful to some.
When we benefit from such injustice, we find it acceptable, or at least defensible, to remain silent.
The way we benefit from it includes enjoying the inclusion or sense of belonging to the family unit.
It includes winning favour with he heads of the family, or earning our place at the table of the family business, or even securing our inheritance.
That’s when we become party to the injustice that affects even us, but from places that we assume to be detached from our family unit.
Injustice in the home is the root of injustice in this world.
First do right by your own before you go out into the world to do right by others.
This is not charity. It is justice in its truest form.
#truth #justice #fairness #equality #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #parenting #spousalabuse #gbv #relationshipgoals #familyvalues -
The Art of Deconstruction
I’ve watched silently, often with annoyance, how it is that so many are considered to be intellectuals for their ability to tear apart someone else’s argument or contribution. The more effective they are at breaking down an opinion that they disagree with, the more revered they are in some circles. That’s the part that I watch silently. The part that fills me with annoyance is when I see that after all that effort, they have nothing of meaning or substance of their own to contribute.
The rest that follow such antics applaud the efforts of those vain ones that love the sound of their own voices as they spew their anger disguised as eloquently articulated arguments filled with nothing more than criticism without purpose. The anger is what fascinates me. Always has. Its origins are so deeply protected that most convince themselves that their anger is a justified response to an oppression or an injustice. But they stop there. They don’t consider why that specific injustice or oppression angers them, nor do they consider why anger is their chosen response to it. Instead, their anger defines their contribution and they garner the respect and admiration from those that are equally angry, or are passively aggressively angry. I suspect the latter group is more despicable than the former because they even lack the conviction to be true to their anger.
Nonetheless, these cycles play out all the time. Often in a public setting, but quietly in a private setting too. It is the private setting that intrigues me most. I find it intriguing because it is where we experience either our power, or our cowardice. When we experience our cowardice, it becomes a priority to judge or criticise the efforts of others to distract attention away from our meekness, hence the deconstruction of the efforts of others to make something of their lives. When we experience our power, our belief in being able to contribute towards the quality of life of others drives us towards contributing towards their efforts to improve their chances of success, because we realise that their success doesn’t threaten our own. But most don’t experience this. Most only see what they think should be done better but rarely (if ever) make an effort to actually do it themselves.
Pointing out what is wrong with the world is easy. I look at the rhetoric and criticism against those that step up and fight the good fight, and most often that rhetoric or criticism finds its roots in a belief that the quoting of divine scriptures elevates the rank of the critic above that of the rank of the activist. This is yet another ploy to appear pious or spiritually awakened while conveniently ignoring the demand of such spirituality to lead by example.
When we have a bone of contention with another, it is not our words in fiery criticism against them that is going to convince them to behave differently. It is our act of sincere and meaningful engagement that will hold any sway over their efforts. Either we will convince them of the benefit of our views, or they will convince us of what we may not have considered about their reality. But without this experiential journey, this side-by-side engagement, the reality of the basis on which we disagree will always remain theoretical and food for the ego, rather than genuine contribution or upliftment of the soul.
Deconstruction is the art of debate, and the art of debate is firmly established in the need to be correct. Debate has never resulted in a sincere pursuit of the truth. That is left to the domain of discussion and contribution. But contribution demands that we offer of ourselves that which we seek to criticise in others. When our opinions define our self-worth, such contribution is far too daunting. Hence the safer path of deconstruction to earn significance from those that are equally frail in their conviction to meaningfully contribute, while the few that appear foolish enough to sacrifice their composure in favour of benefiting others remain a soft target for the whimsical leaders of debate groups.
I have no respect for the argument that points out what is wrong with someone else’s approach, or philosophy, if it isn’t accompanied by a sincere effort to offer guidance and assistance as well. Having an opinion is easy. It means that you don’t have to do anything except blurt out the thoughts that occur to you as you vegetate in front of your keyboard. Having an informed opinion goes one step further because that vegetation was accompanied by some effort towards fact checking or research. However, even that is inexcusable if not accompanied by actual participation in the process of changing the reality, and not just the perception of an issue that weighs others down.
Without willing and sincere engagement, an opinion is simply a fart pretending to be thunder. And global warming has ensured that there is no shortage of hot air to go around.
