Whose pedestal is it?

When we see people for what we need them to be, rather than who they are, we elevate their position in our lives through no fault of their own.

When they fail to meet the expectations that we created because of that unrealistic perspective that we had of them, we feel betrayed and then blame them for hurting us.

This is yet another sign of a deficient self-worth.

Our need to be associated with something or someone of a favourable standing often leads to us exaggerating the good or the virtue in them, or it.

This is because when we believe that we’re not enough to earn the respect or social standing that we desire, then we find ways to appear more than who we are through associating with what others will respect or admire.

The irony is that our efforts to place others on pedestals is because we want company for placing ourselves on those pedestals so that we don’t appear arrogant or vain in claiming such standing for ourselves.

A healthy self-worth means that praise or support will be authentic, rather than opportunistic or insincere.

Sometimes we justify the insincerity by convincing ourselves that we just want others to feel good.

But when we shower praises on one who we believe isn’t truly praiseworthy, we’re doing it to feel good about being seen as generous and kind in spirit, and not because we want them to feel good.

We also deny them the opportunity to be better by instilling a false sense of confidence about who they are or what they’ve achieved.

Thus, the pedestals are built and destroyed the moment the lack of authenticity in our motives are exposed, or when they reveal, in an undeniable way, that they are not who we held them up to be.

Sincerity on our part, in such moments, will be reflected in how we understand and support them to be who we believe they’re capable of being, rather than judging them for letting us down.

It always starts with you.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism #selfloathing

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