For the sake of your sanity, do not buy into this extremely flawed way of thinking.
If you were to believe the mainstream tripe about mental health, you’d be running back to your childhood for everything and blaming your parents for all your failures in life.
The irony of this claim about procrastination and laziness is that they both have a very simple, yet easy to overcome root cause.
You either believe in the value of what you’re doing, or you don’t.
If you don’t, the only reason you will do it is because there will be unpleasant consequences if you don’t do it. That’s why we leave things until we have no choice but to do it when we approach it as if it’s a punishment for living.
It’s this same reason that inspires us to look forward to our day, or to drag ourselves out of bed, regardless of how much sleep we got the night before.
The reasons for struggling to see the value in doing something requires self awareness and mindfulness.
But given that both are lost when we blame our past for our present failings, we further sabotage our efforts to connect with life in a more meaningful way.
Please, for the love of sanity and common sense, stop buying into the mindless crap presented as research about mental health.
Give yourself a fighting chance by simply understanding why you have good reason in your own mind to be averse to doing things that you know will be beneficial for you.
We’ve overcomplicated life and then reframed that complexity to be mental health.
We need to reclaim our humanness and the very real human experiences that give us reason to feel emotional duress from time to time.
It’s all part of being human.
#justsaying #ownyourlife #zaidismail #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #coachzaidismail #parenting #relationshipgoals #procrastination #laziness #theegosystem
Tag: justsaying
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Procrastination is not a mental illness
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10 Rules for life
If you don’t hold yourself accountable before you hold others accountable, you’re insincere about what you claim to uphold.
If you focus on everyone else’s shortcomings that you think may justify your behaviour, you will be defined by everyone else’s shortcomings.
Is that really the standard by which you want to live?
It always starts with you.
Here are the 10 Rules:
1. If you want to be trusted, conduct yourself with integrity and consistency at all times, not only when things are easy.
2. If you want to be respected, learn to respect others, not only when there’s something in it for you.
3. If you want to be appreciated, show appreciation for what you have and what you receive instead of behaving as if you’re entitled to everything that you need or want.
4. If you want to be treated like an adult, communicate like an adult instead of throwing tantrums or assuming that you’re right so there’s no need for you to convince anyone else about what you believe to be true.
5. If you want to feel cared for, show due care and consideration for others, and not only for people from whom you need things or from those who stroke your ego.
6. If you want the benefit of the doubt, work on your credibility instead of demanding to be treated as if you have credibility, especially if you did something that raised doubts about your credibility.
7. If you want to be heard, listen with the intention of understanding, and not with the intention of responding to prove that you’re right while ignoring the facts presented to you.
8. If you can’t handle the answer to a question, don’t ask the question because you’re looking to hear what you want to hear, rather than being interested in what others have to say.
9. If you don’t want others to assume the worst of you, stop assuming the worst of others.
10. If you want your rights to be respected, fulfil your responsibilities. All of it. Not only the ones that you think you need to or feel like fulfilling.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #theegosystem #ownyourlife #justsaying #rulesforlife #relationshipgoals #marriage #divorce -
A distracted populace
When popular opinion prevails over the wisdom of the ages, fear greatly for the next generation.
We live in times when good appears as evil, and evil appears as good.
When standing up for something on a basis of principle is dismissed as idealism, and the path of least resistance is seen as the only sensible thing to do.
When respect is confused with good manners, and sincerity is confused with being polite.
When the worst of us leads, and the best of us are ridiculed for expecting more.
When we look to the past with rose coloured spectacles, we lose the essence of the effort that created that past, while believing that nostalgia is all that it offers.
When we surrender to the thinking that times have changed, we lose sight of the fact that we’re changing the times.
That’s how the feeble-minded gain popularity through stroking the egos of the masses, while the masses are deluded by their social media feeds into believing that they’re being progressive.
And in the midst of all this ridiculousness, we have a generation that is lost, yet horribly confident about everything that is lacking in substance but full of self-gratification.
It is going to be a disastrous day when they realise that self-gratification was in fact a coping mechanism for self-loathing, and life grew empty as they lost their connection with their roots, their cultural heritage, and their identity.
Assimilation has never fed the soul, it only ever destroyed our sense of self.
A society that demands assimilation is a society that is doomed to failure because it already lacks the substance and the credibility to deal with differences.
The future cries in anticipation of what we’re producing in the present.
When will we awaken from being so woke?
#hope #expectation #justsaying #ownyourlife #theegosystem #lifecoaching #zaidismail #unfiltered #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #wokeculture -
Conveniently judgemental
Judgement is only ever supposed to be the first step in correcting what’s wrong.
Sadly, it’s most often the only step that we take when faced with unbecoming behaviour from others.
Worse still, judgement is easy to dish out about issues and incidents that are none of our business because having an opinion on something topical is the easiest way to feel relevant.
Judgement is easy.
All it requires is the ability to compare what we see to a rule or a law that we believe is revered by others.
Such comparison requires zero understanding behind the behaviour, nor does it demand any action on our part to improve the situation.
All it requires is an opinion without empathy or compassion.
When passing judgement establishes our relevance in social circles, we grow emboldened by the attention we receive from those who agree with us, eventually assuming ourselves to be a moral authority that can speak on behalf of the Almighty.
That’s when we find justification to pass judgement about the faith and beliefs of others, and we become argumentative about religion and philosophy, and the personal matters of those we have no intention of assisting.
Passing judgement without understanding or accountability for the impact of such judgement is an indulgence of the ego and serves no good whatsoever.
Unless you are duly appointed to judge between two parties, restrain yourself from having an opinion on every person or issue that crosses your timeline.
Peace is found in leaving alone that which does not concern us.
And harm is caused by involving ourselves insincerely in that which does not concern us.
Check yourself before you feel a need to share your opinion on someone else’s life.
Or else you may be tested with that which you judge others about.
#justsaying #ownyourlife #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #mindyourbusiness #sincerity #relationshipgoals #marriage #divorce -
Collective guilt, collective malice
One of the trappings of the victim head space is that it convinces us to surround ourselves with those who will understand why we’re weak, or why we behave badly, because they themselves struggle with similar demons.
Our need to avoid rejection or to feel validated causes us more harm than good.
The comfort that we get from that is fleeting, while what is important to us is neglected.
It’s like placing a band aid over a festering wound to prevent chafing.
It may offer a very brief comfort, but the wound eventually turns septic and results in long term pain.
It’s for this reason that we avoid sincere advisors who push us to get out of the rut that we’re in, while polarising towards those who pacify us about being in that rut because they’re so understanding.
That’s how we surround ourselves with those who share our shortcomings and our excuses, while we convince ourselves that we found our tribe.
Sins are not sinful because it carries with it the threat of damnation or divine punishment. They’re sinful because they’re an injustice against our soul.
An injustice against ourselves results in us treating others unjustly.
Virtues become sins when applied maliciously or excessively, and sins can be received as a virtue when it uplifts with kindness more than the harshness of religiosity can achieve.
If we’re not careful, we’ll celebrate our virtues because it is supported by those who are equally distracted by their self-praise, while harming others because of our arrogance in worship.
How often hasn’t overt worship been the safe space for abusers and oppressors, while the meek pray silently in the darkness?
Be mindful of who you surround yourself with, and what calibre of advisors you seek.
Otherwise, you may end up destroying yourself while feeling like it was your destiny not to find happiness.
It always starts with you.
#justsaying #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #peerpressure #selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #theegosystem -
Who’s doing you in?
This is a phenomenon that I encountered regularly in the corporate world.
When your performance appraisal is reviewed against your targets only, but all mitigating circumstances are dismissed, understand that they’re not interested in rating your performance, they’re interested in finding someone to blame for their lack of competence, or lack of support.
If, however, you find yourself in the same situation repeatedly, then you need to consider if you’re communicating effectively with the people who need to support you with the right tools and resources to achieve your targets, or if you’re always avoiding accountability for outcomes the moment you don’t have the ideal environment in which to achieve your targets.
The latter is a result of a victim mindset, because it’s focused on protecting yourself from being wrong, rather than focusing on taking reasonable risks and initiative to accomplish your goals.
If you’re convinced that others are simply out to get you, then you need to question yourself for sticking around to repeatedly give them such opportunity.
If you truly believe in your ability to contribute positively towards your career goals, you’ll make an effort to find an organisation or a team that appreciates the value that you bring to the table.
If you lack confidence in yourself, you’ll go through life waiting for others to create the perfect circumstances for you to thrive, while blaming the world for not doing enough for you.
That’s when the burden of stupidity that accompanies the absence of appreciation for context becomes your self-defeating behaviour, while you focus on what everyone else is not doing enough of to help you to be successful.
Just a random thought I felt like sharing today.
Own Your Life.
#hope #expectation #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #careergoals #judgingothers #justsaying #corporatepolitics #selfdefeatingbehaviour #selfsabotage
