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You judge others as you judge yourself

The irony of helping others out of the dark spaces in their lives is that when they emerge, they’re often inclined to avoid you because you remind them of a time when they were weak.

When we believe that such weakness is deplorable, we remain weak.

When we view ourselves through the lens of weak versus strong, good versus bad, and so on, we are judging ourselves and others, rather than trying to understand what got us into such states.

There is a time and a place for judgement. But that time and place is only when we need to stop an oppression from taking place.

Beyond that moment, we must focus on understanding the human struggle behind that behaviour, or else we diminish the struggle of the one who behaved badly, giving them ever more reason to continue behaving badly. Or worse.

Gratitude for our moments of weakness is not possible if we still carry a sense of shame about our weakened state.

It’s one thing to regret what we did and to put in the effort to make up for it. But it’s not the same as carrying shame within us that we need to hide from the world.

That need to hide our shame from the world is how we judge ourselves harshly and then look for evidence of others judging us.

That’s often the reason for our defensiveness or aggression in response to any mention of what we once did wrong.

When you find yourself judging yourself or others harshly, it means that you have yet to appreciate the reasons for your weakness or have yet to connect with your humanness.

You’ll only allow others to be human when you believe that you’re allowed to be human.

Right there is the path to peace in your life.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism

Zaid Ismail

Author, life coach, and mental health activist. We need to change the narrative from disorders, illnesses, and survival to accountability, understanding, and thriving.

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