Self pity destroys everything

Self pity destroys the very life that we wish we had.

It is spawned by the belief that the future holds nothing for us, because the injustices of our past remain unavenged, or unappreciated.

Without realising it, we become defined by our struggle, and lose ourselves in the process.

Until we are faced with one who sees the beauty and the potential that we’ve lost sight of.

Sadly, at that point, we feel torn between hope and shame.

Hope that what we wanted all this time is finally reachable, and fear that our inadequacy may be discovered, leaving us abandoned or rejected once more.

Because, if we were discarded when we gave off our best, surely we’ll be rejected or judged harshly now that we’re at our worst.

At least, that is what we have convinced ourselves is true because of our fixation on the brutality of our past.

That’s the root cause of the self pity that now destroys any good that threatens to expose our vulnerability, our neediness, or our shortcomings that gave someone we once trusted enough reason to reject us.

Until we realise that it was our choice, albeit an innocent and unintended choice, to be defined by our struggles, we’ll assume that anyone expecting more from us, or believing in us, is an attempt to undermine the struggle that we have endured, and continue to battle.

That’s how self pity creates the vicious cycles of repeat abandonment, while we convince ourselves that the subsequent abandonment justifies our need to protect ourselves from rejection.

If you’re struggling to break this cycle, reach out via my website at or on WhatsApp at +27836599183 and let’s create the life that you’ve always wanted. And deserve.

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