Redirected rage

Our self-worth defines our behaviour in moments when we feel most unappreciated.

Whether a toddler, a teen, or an adult, we are provoked towards anger and bad behaviour when we feel taken for granted or irrelevant to those who matter to us.

It doesn’t mean that they must treat us badly.

It could be as simple as them not noticing what is important to us.

How we need to feel appreciated is unique to each of us.

Expecting others to know what’s important to us is how we test for significance without feeling vulnerable by expressing our needs.

In other words, the moment we need to tell others what we need from them to feel significant, it no longer feels like significance to us. It feels like neediness.

No one willingly seeks to express their needs without first trusting that it will not be used to weaken their position or standing with those around them.

But trust is the last thing we can rely on when our self-worth is low, because if we don’t think we’re worth it, we have absolutely no reason to believe that anyone else thinks we’re worth it either.

That’s how bad behaviour becomes the tool to distract attention away from how we feel about ourselves, while directing attention to what we think is a defendable gripe or anger that we have towards others, or towards life.

It’s a vicious cycle that starts in childhood, but ends with you.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #theegosystem #ownyourlife

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