The shame within

You know that awkwardness that you feel when someone says something that you know is right but you’re not ready to hear it?

Or when a sincere advisor or significant other points out something you’re doing that isn’t helpful or good for you, and you get defensive about it?

Those are hints at the shame with which you view yourself regarding that habit or character trait.

When we judge ourselves harshly, we grow defensive the moment someone draws attention to what we already feel insecure about.

On the surface, we feel justified in defending ourselves because we feel judged.

However, if we weren’t already judging ourselves, we wouldn’t feel judged, we’d feel misunderstood.

Choosing whether or not to clarify that misunderstanding then becomes a matter of how much importance we place on the one who is making the incorrect assumption about us.

But when we feel judged, it’s much more difficult to be selective about who we get defensive with and end up in full attack mode on people who don’t deserve it.

The shame that we feel about ourselves is because we’re still seeing ourselves through the eyes of those we feel were never proud of us. Usually one or both parents.

Until we realise this, we’ll go through life believing that we are unfairly judged without being open to growing beyond that because in our obsession with defending ourselves, we were never open to receiving good advice on how to be better.

It always starts with you.

#ownyourlife #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #selfdevelopment #mindfulness #relationshipgoals

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