Your intentions are never enough

There is often an unintended entitlement that sets in for those who are trying to make up for the impact of their behaviour on others.

The entitlement comes through in how we expect our efforts to be received.

If we apologise, we expect it to be accepted.

If we comfort, we expect them to feel comforted.

If we hug them, we expect them to hug us back.

The one who causes the offence does not get to decide how the offended must forgive or understand.

Until we connect with this reality, we will continue to downplay the impact that we have on others while believing that they just don’t understand or don’t care about how difficult it is for us.

When we caused harm, it stops being about us and starts being about those we harmed.

If we are sincere in our convictions to make right what we did wrong, we won’t feel entitled to our efforts being accepted. Instead, we’ll be focused on being more effective in our efforts to make things right.

That test of our conviction is what many fail, resulting in the offenders parading as victims and the offended being painted as unreasonable or cruel.

Check yourself when you apologise or try to make up for something you did wrong.

If you don’t, you will sour important relationships for all the wrong reasons while blaming them for your actions.

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