Most people see themselves through someone else’s eyes, without ever realising it.
Without exception, whenever we judge ourselves harshly, it’s because we’re measuring our worth based on what we think someone else will think of us rather than what we think of ourselves.
That someone else is most often a parent or significant other.
And the reason we see ourselves through such judgemental eyes is because we lost sight of who we want to be, and replaced it with wanting to be enough for someone else.
As a rule of thumb, whenever you find yourself reflecting on your achievements or the circumstances of your life within the context of good or bad, right or wrong, acceptable or unacceptable, and so on, it means that you are judging yourself based on an external standard.
When you embrace that external standard as your own aspirational goal, you’ll focus on understanding why you are not as effective as you’d like to be at living your life in that way, so that you can continue to strive towards that aspirational goal, rather than judging yourself harshly for failing to achieve it.
Remember: Judgement is what we think someone else thinks of us, whereas values is what we want to live by.
When you connect with the latter, you’ll be less likely to adopt the demons that accompany the judgement of others about who you are or what you’re worth, and you’ll find peace and joy in your efforts towards continually improving the quality of your life.
It always starts with you.
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Are you who you think you are?
