Understanding why you or your partner behave the way that you do is only the first critical step in creating harmony and establishing that bond that makes a relationship resilient.
Once you have this understanding, you need to decide what to do with it.
That’s when having mature, objective, and sound advisors become the next critical part in our efforts towards establishing healthy relationships, both with ourselves and with those around us.
Loyalty often blinds friends and family towards protecting us, even when we’re not attacked nor being deliberately treated badly.
Their need to protect us is more about their fears from their own experiences or their need to feel significant in our lives, than it is about guiding us towards the best outcomes.
A sincere advisor is one who won’t protect you from the truth of your contribution towards the difficulties that you may be experiencing just because they’re afraid that you may be upset with them.
This is true not only for friends and family, but especially for coaches and therapists.
The golden rule when choosing an advisor is to confirm that they’re driven towards understanding your situation objectively, while offering insights into what is contributing towards it from both sides, before they insist on a course of action that you must follow.
In fact, when an advisor insists that you take specific steps towards resolving something, they’re no longer advisors. They’re instructors.
So be sure about whether you’re seeking instruction or advice on how to connect with your partner in a healthier and more meaningful way.
Instructions are based on someone else’s value system, while advice is aimed at providing insight into your reality so that you can make an informed decision based on your value system. Not theirs.
Choose carefully.
#marriageadvice #relationshipgoals #ownyourlife #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #silenttreatment #personalpower
Navigating relationships – 3 of 5
