There is a beauty in awakening the soul that is only ever experienced by those who have the courage to stir it from its slumber.
Fear doesn’t only make us aggressive towards those that don’t deserve it, it also convinces us that what we have is all we’ll ever be capable of achieving.
Courage results from believing in the value of what we need, and pursuing it as if our life will remain incomplete without it.
Don’t wait until your final sleep arrives before realising that you prevented yourself from living.
Your past only defines the experience and skill that you have to navigate your future. It doesn’t, and never will define your future.
Tag: appreciation
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Awakening beauty
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Don’t try to be better than others
The sooner you realise that you’re different from everyone else, the sooner you’ll be able to define your own path.
The most pervasive limiting belief that I encounter in others is the belief that they’re not as good as others.
If we stop and pay attention for a brief moment, we’ll realise that it’s not about better or worse, it’s about being different and embracing those differences.
Better or worse is only important if you’re competing to be just like everyone else.
Be you. Life is so much more rewarding when you are, and love is that much more attainable. -
Why gratitude is all that matters
Gratitude speaks more to our soul than any gift or trinket, or whispers of endearment.
Gratitude is impossible without respect,
and respect is impossible without honesty,
and honesty is impossible without sincerity.
And so it continues until we realise that expecting gratitude or appreciation from someone that lacks any of these fundamental traits in their character is an exercise in futility.
We cannot give what we don’t have.
We can therefore not be grateful of others if we lack gratitude for ourselves. -
Sincere advisors
Cherish those who hold you to a higher standard, not those who pacify you when you’re wrong.
Of the rarest of creation, I believe, must be the sincere advisor.
If you find one, cherish them, because their commitment is to your upliftment, and not to their own ego.
Photo Credit : Naadirah Ismail -
Ready to Rage
When tolerance levels are breached, rage is an inevitable next step. It’s like the boundaries of fear that are overcome in moments of desperation when the realisation sets in that remaining true to our current approach, is as meaningless or ineffective as throwing caution to the wind, and demanding what we need, or want. But, in that lies the problem.
My tolerance levels are defined by me, not anyone else. Each time I give in to the breach of it, to the rage or the demands that bubble beneath the surface of my emotions, I find myself buying into the assumption that in doing so, that final act of desperation where reason has failed me will, in fact, yield the responses that I want, or expect. But that assumption is what is incorrect.
Assuming that others care enough to honour your needs or requests is an assumption based on entitlement. Or maybe not. Nonetheless, demands only ever result in compliance at best, but rarely, if ever, respect. And thus, I find myself reminding myself that we cannot give what we don’t have. If I lack tolerance, it means that I lack patience, or that I embrace entitlement. It’s a fine line between sanity and pacifism. At which point do we accept and move on, and in the process compromise what we stand for, versus stand our ground and demand a change in behaviour from others?
Pacifism, or the need to turn the other cheek does nothing to correct the unwelcome behaviour of those that assume that they are entitled, and in the process trample on the rights and dignity of others. The balance must lie somewhere between being driven by the principle of it all, and desiring that they realise the value of upholding such principles.
That desire is what challenges us in our moments of weakness. Moments when we experience the intensity of the void of not being served as we serve, or appreciated as we appreciate. Moments when our respect is assumed to be expected, and our concern is assumed to be neediness or interference. Those moments test our merits and our resolve in being able to set aside what we need, in favour of what we wish to see realised in the lives of those around us.
Rage if you must. But remember that rage will only ever allow you to vent in the moment at hand without any benefit for the future. If nothing else, it may reveal the truth of the sentiments of the ones that you hold in high regard, but as always, be sure that when you prompt such a response, you must be ready to embrace the answer.
Rage if you must. But rage with purpose, and let that purpose be enabled through actions that create rather than destroy the very outcome that you hope to achieve. Let your rage inspire you to act, but not to impose. Let your rage drive you to change that which you despise or find lacking, but don’t let it convince you that you are entitled to a favourable response. Nor are you entitled to righting the wrong that you find problematic.
Recognise your rage as the source of the intensity of your passion. Then, feed that passion, not the rage. The world is full of raging beasts, each demanding their significance without earning it. Or demanding such significance from those that have no interest in appreciating them. Don’t add to that rage. Replace it with passion, and purpose. Replace it with a conviction in who you are, and not who you demand others to be. The former is the beginning of the path towards peace, and the latter is the path towards hell on earth.
Let your rage bring peace where imbalance thrives. Let it inspire others to rise with conviction, rather than fight with abandon. Most importantly, let your rage never be unbridled, because in that is the root of losing ourselves to the very same contempt that we hold of those that breed such contempt into this world.
Be better than that.
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Trappings of Entitlement
Ingratitude seeps in when you look for evidence of deliberate kindness despite there being no evidence of cruelty from others. We’re so conditioned to find goodness against the backdrop of evil, or generosity in the midst of selfishness, that we’ve grown to believe that only the evidence of deliberate kindness is an indication of care or concern from others.
Most often, it’s the restraint of anger or the withholding of harshness that is more evident of the kindness that lurks beneath, because it means that someone in an anguished state still recognises your worth enough not to dump their harshness onto you.
When we feel entitled to overt expressions of kindness, we automatically take for granted all the servitude that we receive without complaint or expectation of reciprocation. Being mindful of the small things always reveals the bigger things that we should value. Be mindful of your blessings.
[This is deeper than I realised] -
The absence of gratitude
It’s easier to assume that someone is ungrateful rather than to invest time in discovering what it is that distracts them. If we work with the assumption (if not the truth) that one is in search of the same joy and peace that we are, seeking to understand each other will be easier than wanting to judge each other.
The absence of gratitude is not always ingratitude. Often it’s a distraction. Like looking at the dark clouds instead of appreciating the rain. The distractions are what take us off our desired path in life when we place significance on things that are out of our control, or not as consequential as we believe it is. That’s when we find ourselves persisting in righting seeming wrongs, or defending imaginary attacks. The most effective strategy, I’ve found, to combat this is to seek understanding rather than assuming judgement. The more we understand, the less we judge. This does not mean that we condone or justify, it simply means that we seek to understand so that we may be able to accept with peace, rather than surrender with bitterness or regret.
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #mindfulness #selfawareness #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #forgiveness #understanding -
Celebrate Life
It’s that time of the year when everyone is talking about resolutions for change in their lives, and many are judging me for not giving a damn about the fuss. Don’t click away yet. This is not a rant or a pity party. It’s a genuine attempt to offer you an alternate perspective on all of this.
It’s easy to assume that I’m jaded for not feeling festive in the festive season, or for not counting down the seconds to the new year. But I’m not jaded. In fact, I’d like to argue that people who do celebrate such token events are in fact the jaded ones. No, really, read on before dismissing this.
There are two ways of considering what it means to be jaded. The first and more common view is someone that finds little reason to celebrate life. The other view suggests that it is someone that sticks to routine from fear of facing the unknown. I’m neither. But most of you are either one or both. Here’s why.
Routine is not only a daily thing. It’s any cycle that is fixed. So when you plan your life around these fixed cycles, you lose spontaneity, and you lose creativity, both of which are core to living with passion. So when you wait for an occasion to present itself before you celebrate life, you’re in a routine. You wait for birthdays before making someone feel special, or you wait for new year’s day before declaring your desire to improve your life.
What if you didn’t wait. What if you didn’t live long enough for the next occasion that you were planning to celebrate? What then? The unexpected gift, to others or to yourself, is far more intriguing and appreciated than the gift planned for a year in advance. The sense of entitlement and the sense of disappointment that goes with a specific occasion when it is celebrated or forgotten respectively, undermines good relationships, and wastes a good life.
The fact that the majority of celebrated occasions are simply token dates marked on a calendar without any substance further confirms its superficial nature. Go out of your way to break the routine and show your sincerity in a deliberate act of appreciation or gratitude, and not one prompted by a calendar reminder, and see how much deeper your connection with people will be.
Celebrate because you have privileges and options that you take for granted every other day. Celebrate because you felt heartened by an unexpected gesture or a sense of good fortune. Celebrate because you have excess that you can share with others. If you’re reading this, then celebrate because you have more than probably 60% of the world’s population.
Waiting for someone to give you permission to celebrate the good in your life is no different to waiting for a specific date before acknowledging the gift of someone in your life. Be spontaneous. Be sincere. Just don’t be shallow and follow the herd.
Who’s jaded now?
