Too good to be true

I’m often asked why is it that someone with a solid self-worth can have their sense of self totally destroyed by a bad relationship.

This is why.

Despite our best intentions, placing someone on a pedestal is never a good idea.

Not only will it blind us to their humanness, it will also distract us from our potential.

Worse than this, it distorts our judgement of ourselves when they don’t respond or react the way we need them to.

Firstly, when we elevate someone in that way, we forget that it’s based on our perception of who they are, and not because they claimed that spot on the pedestal that we built.

Secondly, because of this misplaced belief in their excellence of character or accomplishment, the success or failure of our efforts to earn their praise or affection leaves us questioning our worth because of how much credibility we place on their reactions towards us.

Remember, we placed them on that pedestal, so they probably have no idea why our expectations of them are so high, making it easier for them to fail us without them knowing why.

When they falter, we see them as falling from grace because we assume that they always thought that they were too good for us, meanwhile they never saw themselves that way to begin with.

Worse still, that unreasonable expectation that we place on them could easily provoke their insecurities, resulting in them deliberately resisting what we need from them.

That sets in motion a cycle that destroys an otherwise good relationship when we blame them for not living up to the expectations that we imposed on them, while accusing them of setting such high expectations.

Be mindful of what you take from others versus what they’re offering.

Otherwise you’ll create self-fulfilling prophecies while blaming the world for your misery.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #relationshipgoals #marriageadvice #divorce #ownyourlife #theegosystem