This is true about abusive men and women. Not just men.
“Stop complaining and just take it like a man!”
“Why can’t you just be a man?”
“He’s so useless. I wish my husband was like yours!”
“it’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be”
“You deserved it.”
“If it was another man, you’d be dead by now!”
“Why do you always make me angry?”
And so the horrid rhetoric goes as it is spewed from those raging at the weak because they don’t have the courage to face the ones who treated them badly.
Those who abuse others will draw attention to their victim’s supposed weakness to pacify their own conscience about their despicable behaviour.
When we can’t face the reasons for our self-loathing, we find a soft target on which to project our rage.
Believing you’re inadequate feels like weakness, but feeling vulnerable because of that weakness is what stirs the rage within.
And all that happens because you’re judging yourself based on how someone important may have mistreated you.
Most often, it’s a parent that didn’t give you a chance to be heard, or seen. And that parent is usually the father, or the absence of one.
Your parents gave you what they had, not what you deserved.
Nonetheless, how we judge ourselves becomes our responsibility once we’ve reached the age of self-awareness.
Any blame from that point on only harms us and those who deserve more from us. It does nothing to change the reality of the past that left us questioning our worth.
When we give up accountability for how we feel about ourselves, we make others responsible for how they supposedly make us feel, and then use that to justify our bad behaviour towards them.
That’s why some men can’t deal with successful women, and why some women can’t respect gentle men.
Your feelings of inadequacy are never enough reason to abuse those who had nothing to do with how your self-worth was formed.
The only person responsible for how you feel about yourself is YOU.
Own that, and you’ll own your life!
#generationaltrauma #genderbasedviolence #relationshipgoals #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #theegosystem #ownyourlife #selfworth #selfawareness
You are responsible for your abusive ways
