Let’s exchange needs

Men complain about lack of intimacy and women complain about emotional unavailability.

Sometimes, the roles are reversed, but generally, these are the two most common issues that couples face in a relationship.

Problem is, neither is the problem that needs to be solved.

We’re naturally more emotionally available in spaces where we feel seen or appreciated.

Having no reason to doubt our significance to our significant other is all the reason we need to drop our guard.

As for intimacy? We’ve largely forgotten what that even looks like.

Similar to love, we’ve forgotten how to be intimate.

Intimacy is not sexual acts or raunchy nights.

Intimacy is about sharing something much deeper than that.

But we’ve turned these elements of a relationship into commodities and rights.

It’s therefore unsurprising to find that most couples, even the ones without major relationship problems, are essentially complacent or unfulfilled about their relationship, rather than inspired to live life passionately because of it.

If you find yourself discussing your rights and your needs with your partner, understand that you’re distracted from why such a discussion is needed at all.

This may sound naively idealistic, but perhaps our lack of idealism is what has killed the romance in our lives.

Perhaps it’s our focus on occasions, and functions, and events, and allocated dates to acknowledge or celebrate each other that denies us the spontaneity needed to feel alive.

Perhaps that’s why we’ve become so transactional in how we live, how we love, and how we seek fulfilment.

It’s time to question whether you’ve been trying to solve the right problems in your life or have you simply been changing the dressing on a festering wound.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #theegosystem #ownyourlife #relationshipgoals #anincompletelovestory