Celebrate the dead. Discard the living.

Ever notice how often people are revered when they’ve passed on, but the same people were neglected, ignored, or even treated badly while they were alive?

Sometimes the reverse is also true. The one who passed on may have left a path of destruction in the lives of those around them, but because of their social standing or their role in their family, they’re revered to the point of exaggerating their good while dismissing the impact that they had on those who were victim to their ways.

Some would have us believe that it’s because we must not disparage the dead. Which is true. We shouldn’t.

But does that also mean that we must exaggerate their good to the point of diminishing the damage or harm that they caused?

The reason we do this is not out of respect for the dead, but more likely because it draws attention to our virtue.

It’s easier to demonstrate such kindness towards the dead, because they have no expectation from us to follow through with sincerity or commitment towards how important we say they are in our lives.

If we were truly committed to establishing good, we would place as much emphasis on remedying the harm that they caused, while remembering the good that they did.

If we don’t, we end up revering the dead to the detriment of the living, thereby reinforcing the harm that the deceased caused, and further oppressing those who are already struggling with the impact of the harm done to them by the deceased.

That’s how we enable generational trauma.

That’s how we create more harm for the victims of those oppressors who have passed on.

That’s how we become part of that cycle of harm.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #grieving #death #fatherhood #raisinggirls #parenting