Tag: mindfulness
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The Beauty of Defeat – PechaKucha Style
A PechaKucha style presentation format that I presented in front of a live audience at a bookstore in Johannesburg, South Africa. I discuss the beauty of defeat, and why moments that appear to deflate us should be embraced, rather than blocked out. -
The absence of gratitude
It’s easier to assume that someone is ungrateful rather than to invest time in discovering what it is that distracts them. If we work with the assumption (if not the truth) that one is in search of the same joy and peace that we are, seeking to understand each other will be easier than wanting to judge each other.
The absence of gratitude is not always ingratitude. Often it’s a distraction. Like looking at the dark clouds instead of appreciating the rain. The distractions are what take us off our desired path in life when we place significance on things that are out of our control, or not as consequential as we believe it is. That’s when we find ourselves persisting in righting seeming wrongs, or defending imaginary attacks. The most effective strategy, I’ve found, to combat this is to seek understanding rather than assuming judgement. The more we understand, the less we judge. This does not mean that we condone or justify, it simply means that we seek to understand so that we may be able to accept with peace, rather than surrender with bitterness or regret.
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #mindfulness #selfawareness #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #forgiveness #understanding -
Believing in yourself
Confidence comes from caring less about what others think of you, and caring more about what you think of yourself.
The question is, do you know yourself well enough to have an informed opinion of yourself?
When we rely on others for more than just feedback and instead allow them to validate who we are, we essentially give them the power to define how we feel about ourselves.
Listening to what others think of you must be done with one single focus in mind. It must be with the objective of determining whether or not the message that you intended was in fact the message that they received.
But, that means that you must know what your message is.
What is your unique contribution?
Self awareness shifts your focus from being aware of how others see you, to being aware of how you want to be seen.
Once you improve your awareness of the way you want others to see you, within the context of your unique contribution, you’ll begin to accept input from others as feedback on that path that you’ve chosen for yourself, instead of using their input to define your path in the first place.
It’s a subtle but critical difference, and the difference could be sanity and peace, versus going crazy looking for validation from people who themselves have yet to accept who they are.
Choose wisely.
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In search of home
Gratitude lays the foundation of the home.
Respect builds its walls.
Love and compassion provides the roof that protects you from the storm.
And passion gives you the windows to allow your soul to breathe.
As for faith…faith is the door that opens the path to all of it.
Virtues have limited effect or value if practiced in isolation. It sometimes has a detrimental effect when one is practiced in excess compared to the others. Balance, as always, is what leads to harmony, and harmony is the throne on which peace resides.
Find your balance. Find your peace.
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You give what you have
I’ve had many interesting discussions with my kids about this topic recently. If they are dishonest about something, I make them aware of the fact that they will only find reason to be honest with others if they find it unacceptable to be dishonest with themselves. What we tolerate by ourselves towards ourselves is what we are capable of offering to others. Nothing more. Nothing less. The day you realise this is the day you’ll see the fears and weaknesses that drives others to behave badly towards you. It was never about you. It’s always about reflecting who they are. You were just the outlet that they felt safe enough to vent on.
You cannot give what you don’t have. If you lack self respect, you won’t be able to respect others. If you don’t appreciate what you have, you won’t express gratitude towards others. If you consistently feed yourself untruths about yourself or your behaviour, you will not trust the sincerity of others. And so it continues. The way we see ourselves is what informs our behaviour and interactions with the world. The more threatened we feel, the more aggressive we will be. So, the next time you see someone behaving badly, don’t judge them harshly, understand what they’re saying about how they value themselves, or how valued they feel by others. Judgement is a reflection of who we are, while understanding is a reflection of the purpose we wish to serve.
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She got chills just hearing about the book
Watch this 30 second clip of how this lady responded to one of my readers describing the power of assumptions and the way it is covered in the book. Connecting to real people and helping them to rediscover the hope and joy in their lives is exactly what Own Your Shit is all about. It’s not a cynic’s view of the world. It’s honest, simple, and radically fresh insights into why you are who you are. Get your copy now on Amazon, Kindle, and other online retailers. Or from my website for South African readers. -
Live, Laugh, Love, and leave a Legacy
Live to love, to laugh, and to leave a legacy. Your material success will only be celebrated after your death if it is of benefit to others. Accumulation of wealth to stroke your ego not only deprives you of the joy of human connection, it also denies you the bonds of beauty that feeds your soul. Laughter should not be sourced from a business deal that outwitted your opponent. Such laughter will mock you in your later years when you realise that your fascination with wealth was merely a drop in the ocean of joy compared to what joy you could have achieved in investing the incredible talents you have to brighten up the faces of loved ones, or even strangers. Wealth is a means to an end. Don’t get so caught up in the means that you completely lose sight of your end.
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Watch “UNISA Radio Interview (Aug ’19)” on YouTube
Listen in for a discussion on why my latest book is so important in changing the narrative of the mental health issues that are spiralling out of control. It’s only once we gain a fresh perspective on old challenges that we can hope to find new ways of resolving them.
