Generational assumptions

One of the most common incorrect assumptions we make in life is assuming that others treat us badly because of who we are, and not because of their own demons.

This is especially true about how we feel about our relationship with one, or both of our parents.

Without realising it, two critical outcomes result from this incorrect assumption.

Firstly, we feel like victims in our lives because what we need from others always seems to be so elusive.

And secondly, it distracts us from the reality of the struggles that the other person, including our parents, may be going through.

When it comes to our parents, we easily lose sight of the human behind the role, until we eventually become parents and then judge them for not adequately preparing us for that role.

That’s how we inevitably make the same mistakes that they made because we lost sight of who we are.

If we connect with gratitude for who we are, and we focus on understanding, not judging why we may fall short from time to time, we’ll find it easier to connect with our humanness and in turn, with the humanness in others, rather than to judge them for not doing justice to their roles in our lives.

Generational cycles are not broken by trying to be better than those who came before.

It’s broken by seeking understanding of why they are the way that they are, so that through understanding them we can make better choices for ourselves.

When you ‘heal’ from your past, don’t abandon those who didn’t have more to give.

Treat them with the empathy and compassion that has been lacking in their lives so that they may also feel like significant humans who are not only valued for the role that they are expected to play in the lives of those around them.

This will improve our relationship with them, which in turn will improve the quality of life that we pass on to the next generation.

It always starts with you.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #parenting #mentalhealthrecovery