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Allow them to learn

Sometimes, out of concern, we try to protect those we care about from mistakes that they are inclined to make.

We become the buffer between their bad decisions and the consequences thereof, so that they don’t find themselves in harm’s way.

This show of concern or compassion is good, as long as it doesn’t become their crutch in life, or ours.

If we’re not careful, we may give them reason to believe that they’ll always have a soft landing, or someone to bail them out.

By protecting them from the consequences of their decisions, you also prevent them from growing to appreciate why they should trust your advice and support.

However, choose carefully when to allow them to fall, because you don’t want to set yourself up for regret if there are long term consequences.

Focus on opportunities where the outcome or the impact can be contained or minimised.

The point is to allow them to learn from their decision making process, and not to maliciously prove a point that they should trust you more.

Always be focused on the benefit that you want to create for them, and not on the satisfaction that you need to feel when you point out that you were right.

Connect with compassion, not malice or bitterness.

This is especially true for parenting teens who are more inclined to demand control of decisions in their lives.

Not everything that they get wrong will hound them for the rest of their lives, so choose instances to teach such lessons based on the effort required for them to make right what they got wrong.

And sometimes, you’ll be surprised at how what you thought you needed to protect them from was actually beneficial for their growth.

#parenting #singleparenting #fatherhood #raisinggirls #daughters #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #enablingbehaviours

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