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Raising humans

Parents are pretty much always well meaning, even when we behave like idiots.

We’re either trying to encourage our kids to be driven like us, or trying to raise them to be better than us.

And if we’re convinced that we’re not good for them, or that they deserve better, then we create distance between them and us because we are convinced that our presence may contaminate the wholesomeness of what they’re capable of being.

Either way, whether we’re present, absent, invested, or disinterested, the role that we play in their lives cannot be dismissed.

The more we’re given to our own fears and insecurities, the less justice we’ll do to raising them with a healthy sense of self.

Connecting with our fears and insecurities, and putting in the effort to understand ourselves better, is what will equip us to inspire our children to reach for their potential.

Otherwise, we’ll focus on discipline, good manners, decorum, and academic achievements, while hoping that they’ll somehow develop confidence and a healthy self-esteem simply through achieving good things.

Most often, this approach fails. It may produce functional adults, but it doesn’t produce emotionally grounded adults.

It emphasises the importance of duty and servitude, but it diminishes the importance of the human behind such attributes and achievements.

If you don’t have a healthy self-esteem, your battles will be projected onto your children, and it will contaminate their self-esteem in ways that will only become evident later in their lives.

Save yourself and them from a lifetime of internal struggle, and start dealing with your fears and insecurities in a meaningful way now.

Your future self will thank you for it, and so will your children.

It always starts with you.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #parenting

Zaid Ismail

Author, life coach, and mental health activist. We need to change the narrative from disorders, illnesses, and survival to accountability, understanding, and thriving.

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