Tag: apologies

The only thing worse than an insincere apology is the apology that is offered with a demand that it be accepted.

The most important part of an apology is not that it is made, but that it is authentic.

Not just sincere. Authentic.

If an apology is limited to a text message, or a few words uttered, but has no meaningful effort behind it to remedy the offence or harm that was caused, then it isn’t an apology. It’s manipulation.

When we demand that our apology result in a change in attitude from the one that was offended because the apology is supposed to put the offence behind us, it’s not an apology, it’s manipulation.

When we apologise but take offence or become defensive when the impact of our behaviour needs to be discussed by the one we offended, then we didn’t apologise, we were just ‘doing the right thing’. That’s manipulation.

When we are sincere in regretting the harm or offence that we caused, an apology will be the smallest action that we take to make up for what we did.

If we’re sincere, an apology will only mark the first step in our effort to regain the trust and confidence, or the good standing that we had with someone, because they are important to us, and not just because they didn’t deserve what we did, or we feel self-righteous in owning up to being wrong.

On the flip-side, needing someone to admit fault and repeatedly apologise for something that they’ve already shown remorse for is not accepting their apology. Nor is it sincere reciprocation of their efforts to remedy the breach in the relationship.

It’s revenge aimed at inflicting the same harm or offence that we felt from their behaviour.

Whether justified or not, it reflects what we value more. The relationship that we have with them, and how much we value who they are, or being seen as the victim of their mistake.

Be authentic. If not, you’re simply manipulating your way through life.

It always starts with you.

#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #authenticity #apologize #apologies #narcissism