Man is incapable of perfection, yet I expect it of others, and demand it of myself. Even in the latitude that I allow myself and others around me, I expect perfection in their compliance with such boundaries all the while fooling myself that my flexibility flies in the face of my perfectionist tendencies. Nonetheless, I strive for perfection in pursuit of efficiency because any inefficiency irks me with the realisation that energy is being consumed on something that could be avoided. I’m lazy like that.
The circular debate that rages in my head leaves me exhausted enough not to be able to fulfil my expectations of myself. It’s a tedious cycle. Feeling too tired to do what I know needs to be done, then feeling disgruntled by the fact that I’m not making the progress I’d hoped for, followed by the disillusionment at the realisation that I’m too tired to maintain the presence of mind required to complete the tasks at hand.
Feels like a dog chasing its tail, or the donkey in hot pursuit of the dangling carrot. I pray I’m not the only one with this affliction, because there is much comfort that can be gained by witnessing our shortcomings in others. It suddenly makes us feel human and less than incompetent.