Tag: sincerity

  • Sometimes, like right now, I stare at my Tumblr dashboard and realise that it’s a painful reflection of the emptiness of my life. It’s supposed to be an escape, an outlet, a form of creative expression or mental ejaculation, but instead it only reinforces the very same realisations that I try to ignore. I’m reminded of all the people that tell me that I just don’t get it, I don’t get them, I’m missing the point, or I don’t understand women. But the logic of how much I get it stares blankly at me saying, ‘wtf?’

    Then I look at my post editor telling me that I already asked two questions today so I can only ask another one tomorrow and I wonder if it gives a shit about the fact that most of my questions go unanswered anyway? Now I’m talking to my post editor, which makes me almost as shallow a douche bag as the ones I despise.

    Pathetically unique, or uniquely pathetic? Looking for meaning in the wrong places, or doomed to be insignificant? Fighting my true nature, or simply in denial? What does it matter? Asking these questions doesn’t change what is, it only reaffirms what is not. I should be asleep right now, but I’m averse to getting into bed again. 

    Nothing gives you quite a mind fuck like betrayal…it’s the wine of the heathens! 

  • Another brush with the faint of heart

    Sometimes I wonder if I’m depressed or am I just an ingrate. I usually get these thoughts annoying me when I’ve had yet another encounter with betrayal or insincerity.

    Fear breeds cowardice as much as betrayal breeds hypocrisy. Or something like that…I think…I can’t really think clearly right now…not sure if it’s the lack of sleep, the distracting pain in my gut, or the untimely reminders of betrayals gone by.

    I’ve realised that in this world, the spineless will always reign supreme in the end because they’re more adaptable than those that have a back bone. It’s so much easier to live a life as an un-tethered liberal. Stand for nothing, fall for anything, and never accept accountability for commitments, either implied or explicit.

    If someone believes in you, that’s their problem. You never asked them to in the first place. Everyone bemoans the fact that they feel insignificant, unloved, unimportant, inconsequential, pathetic, alone, blah blah blah…but everyone is also always pushing away such love or care or concern or selfless commitment because it demands a reciprocation that is too constraining. We cry for companionship or understanding but then despise it when it comes in the wrong packaging.

    What a laughable bunch we are, aren’t we?

  • To the beautiful broken-hearted…

    Knowing you are loved will never be enough to ease the pain of betrayal of the one you loved, but hopefully it’s enough to keep you holding on long enough until you find the strength to lift your blood-drenched soul out of the cesspool of someone else’s heartlessness. Someone else’s spineless cowardice that is cloaked in shallow confidence aimed at appeasing the masses that only convinces those that are too ignorant to realise that it’s only a veneer and nothing more.

    Being on the receiving end of the betrayal already confirms that you’re not part of that societal decay that is smothered in the rotting stench of insincerity and hypocrisy. It means that you had the courage to trust and to love selflessly. Being naive is beautiful. Being ignorant is not.

    The spinelessness of some has indeed broken the backbone of others. Please…don’t let that be you. They’re simply not worth it, because it’s not their potential that matters, but their courage to be true to themselves that does. And if they lack that, then they don’t deserve you because they’ll always be selfish enough to take, but will always have reason enough to withhold. And no matter how much you believe in their potential, it means nothing if they don’t have the courage to believe in themselves. So don’t lose yourself in them. You’re worth more than they’ll ever be.

    With love, from the jaded one.

  • Sincere reciprocation is the highest form of gratitude.

    Cynically Jaded

  • I’d rather live a sincere life, or not at all. Safe is hypocritical. Happiness or sadness is only ever felt by those that ventured beyond their facades. The rest are pitiful creatures that leech off those that have courage and pretend to wear that courage as their own. I despise those invertebrates.They’re social liabilities that add to the angst of being human, but do little, if anything to contribute to the collective wholesomeness that they’re so easily willing to consume.

    Cynically Jaded

  • F.I.F.O…

    If faced with the option to either fit in or f*** off, I proudly choose to f*** off.

    Being alone is infinitely more pleasing than being surrounded by hypocrites. We’re so busy trying to figure out why we’re deemed unacceptable or why we find it so hard to fit in that we lose sight of what is really important…and as cliched as that may sound, it talks to this simple truth…Stop labelling your state of mind and accept that you have significant reason, let alone a right to question your reality and your existence. Seek to understand, by all means. But when you attach a label to yourself or to others, you reinforce that very same mind set by believing that that is what you need to deal with. You become focused on the symptoms and forget why you’re so screwed up to begin with. If indeed you are screwed up at all, and not just different!

    The next time you do something that is directly detrimental to your well being, physical or emotional, stop to think why you’re doing it! Chances are, your actions will be driven by a need to be accepted, or the agony of not being accepted. Stop! They’re not worth it…there cannot be so many millions suffering from the same anguish just because of the same bullshit expectation that we’re all supposed to fit in. Be bold…accept who you are and know what you stand for. If you don’t, how the hell can you expect anyone else to take you seriously? 

    Conform at the expense of the death of your own soul. When you conform for conformance’s sake, you become the living dead without anything meaningful to offer humanity. 

  • I’m a victim…of you…and me.

    I look around these days and see more people depressed, downtrodden, suicidal, and hopeless compared to people that have wholesome lives, a healthy self-esteem, and a general appreciation for the good that they have and the good that they are. For every person that I’ve seen going through intense despair or depression or self-loathing, I’ve witnessed the cause of their anguish to be based on either one of two things…acceptance by their families, or acceptance by society. 

    Non-acceptance by family, in my opinion, is infinitely more painful and destructive because there’s a blood tie that won’t ever completely recede. So our need to be part of a bonded structure will always gnaw at us. 

    On the other hand, non-acceptance by society is infinitely more confusing. Almost every single time I’ve witnessed that non-acceptance to be based on the appearance or social integration of the individual, yet those same individuals refuse to acknowledge that they’re trying to fit in with ridiculous stereotypical expectations of the lame-minded, and in doing so, they perpetuate that very same destructive social culture that brought them to that point.

    Let’s judge people on their looks, and then mourn the loss of another teenager to suicide because she was never thin enough, pretty enough, lewd enough, religious enough, intelligent enough or simply not enough because they judge based on unrealistic icons rather than appreciating the unique beauty that is staring right at them. 

    Let’s completely forget that the rights of the community is greater than the rights of the individual so that we may never achieve the wholesomeness of past generations. The more liberated we become, the more enslaved our minds are. So we spurn those that are different, and torment those that choose to be different, because the majority have been brain washed into believing that fitting in is more important than being sincere. 

    We’ve become obsessed with our individual right of expression, and oblivious to the impact of our actions and decisions on those around us. Yet, when we suffer from the harsh effects of exactly that same selfishness, we fail to see the selfishness in our own actions, and so we continue fooling ourselves into believing that society is what causes us this pain and anguish, not realising that we actively support that very same societal standard that brought us to this point, and pushed many beyond. 

    All these selfish individuals that actively subscribe to these selfish standards of society are members of those very same family units that fail to accept some of its own flesh and blood. And so the vicious cycle continues.

  • (Source: http://younisd.tumblr.com/post/4211831741)